Have I mentioned before that I’m not a big cook? Even that is probably an overstatement, since if I can avoid cooking, I do. I’m fortunate to have a husband who loves to cook; yet, part of me is ashamed of how little I cook. Part of me even wants to cook. I will do some baking from time to time – especially at Christmas time when I try to make several batches of cookies. Do you know what happens though when I go into a store with gobs of kitchen gadgets? I yearn to take them home – if I had that thing, then I might cook. If I had this thing, I could make more desserts.
I’m tempted to purchase things for a life I’m not leading. Granted it’s a life part of me wants to have, except that a few of those things that have come into our home are neglected. Owning those cool tools has not changed my behavior or actions. My life is fine without my cooking more.
Do you have things in your home that do not support the life you’re living? There are two sides of this: the things for the dreams you have and the things for what you’re not doing (and really have no drive to do). Only you can decide which category those things fall into.
Are you buying clothes for a life you’re not leading? If you’re a stay at home mom and your closet is filled with clothes meant for fancy outings which you never go on, then there’s a discrepancy. Is this a dream you have for yourself – to have events requiring formal wear? Is it what you truly want? If you actually had a chance to lead that life, would you be happy?
Do you have loads of supplies for a hobby that you wanted to start, yet somehow have never started even the first project? Sometimes this is more about having too many distractions or not enough space to feel able to begin. Or it can be about trying to lead a life that’s not yours.
If you had all the time and energy you desired, what would you want to do with it? How would you spend your time? Where does your passion lead you? The truth is that if the only thing stopping you from pursuing that hobby or activity – there are ways to solve those struggles. You just need to know what is interfering first.
The truth is that we all probably have some of both types of things in our homes. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you can recognize when you’re buying for a life different from yours, you can cut down on the things coming into your home that will inevitably become clutter since you won’t use them. While on the other hand, you’re buying for what you really want to spend time on, you can hold off until you make the time and space for doing them.
One side note: if you’re overwhelmed already, you might actually be too critical of yourself to be objective. I’ve seen too often the judgment of an “I’m never going to…” that doesn’t seem to accurately reflect their interests, and is more suggestive of how their time and space feel out of control. In that case, I recommend holding off on a too aggressive response and waiting until the process has moved further along and we’ve had a chance to create additional space and potentially time.
