Are You Ready?

“Ready for what” you might ask? At any given time you could be prepared for various things – the need to adjust or even make abrupt changes – those things that life inevitably demands. While there are times that any change, even minor adjustments, can be overwhelming. This is part of life – whether we like or accept it. A valuable skill to develop is to learn to recognize what we can and cannot handle – at least at certain points in time, since this too shifts with different variables.

Therefore for this moment – are you ready to work at getting organized? And it most definitely can be work. When we let things slide or we never learned the skills to develop and maintain an organized environment, it takes time and effort to bring your spaces into order. As FlyLady says, the state of your home didn’t happen overnight and it can’t be fixed overnight – whatever the actual state of things in your own spaces.

And to be blunt, just because you are frustrated and overwhelmed doesn’t automatically mean that you are “ready.” And equally, it doesn’t mean that you’re not “ready.” There are “Stages of Change” or “Stages of Readiness” people have identified that we all move through and among – along our individual paths. These apply to any changes we want or need to make in our life – from getting organized to any other changes we want to implement.

Pre-contemplation/ Initial Rumblings
Contemplation/ Identifying Possibilities
Preparation/ Reaching Out
Action/ Beyond Talking
Maintenance/ Life Jolts (increase in commitment)

– first items are taken from “A ‘Stages of Change’ Approach to Helping Patients Change Behavior”; second items taken from ICD’s fact sheet, “Readiness for Change – Revised” (pdf link FS-010, second from the bottom of page)

Remember I also said we move among these stages – the idea of relapse – where we falter in making the progress we want, is moving to an earlier stage in the process. It’s completely normal and simply means you’ve encountered some additional challenges and can move back toward the progress you want – when you are ready.

Being “ready” isn’t a solitary, concrete event. It is moving through the process at your own pace, influenced by your life and experiences. It’s all about you and where you are at within these stages. Making changes is challenging – even when we desperately want to make them – hence that it is “work.” Also it is rarely a straight line – making consistent, steady progress from the moment you begin to developing the skills in maintaining the change you’ve identified. If you think about any change you have made and even those you set out to change – what was that process like for you? Likely, it was challenging – it took time and effort – especially initially. It quite probably required learning new skills, or how to apply other skills in new ways.

One of the best things you can do for yourself – as you embark on making changes, even with getting organized – is to give yourself permission to be exactly where you are in the process. You will likely not be right where you are now as time passes – moving through the stages doesn’t necessarily require that you “work” those stages, they can happen naturally. Lasting change comes from within – your own motivation or where you are within the process of making changes you’ve personally identified – and being patient with the process.

Wherever you are in the process, whatever changes you want to make – you can begin anytime. Waiting until you are solidly in an “action” stage isn’t required. Although you can also wait until you are ready for taking action. There is no one right answer – it’s about you and what will work for you. And it never hurts to find support as you embark on the process of making changes – whatever that support looks like.

These Stages of Change can provide you with a framework for how we all process. This outline also doesn’t address other complicating factors, which I’ll talk about soon. It does illustrate what is typical for all of us – it’s not as simple as flipping a switch and presto things are fixed. If only it were that easy. Hopefully it will encourage you to be gentle with yourself as you strive to make changes – whether that’s getting organized or whatever other changes you want to make. Truly it is simply part of the process – even when it’s annoying – it’s still “normal.”

What changes do you want to make? Where are you in the process? Are you taking action?

To-Do’s – Technology and Traditional

My adamant approach to all things we do – whether organizing, managing time, cleaning, or working on our goals – is to find our own, individual way. There is no one right way to do anything. Take what works from each approach and combine it into something that works for you, even using any of your own unique ideas no one’s ever mentioned. And no matter how good or logical something sounds – follow your own needs. Additionally change or adapt it when it makes sense. When it comes to to-do lists, it can be completely personalized, where only you matter.

Recently I talked about my to-do program on my iPad – Appigo’s Todo. Yet, as much as I use it and wouldn’t give it up, it’s only part of how I handle my to-dos. I do rely on it and is the place where I try to capture all the tasks I need to do – eventually. This is often called a “brain dump” where you get all your tasks – regardless of priority, relevance, timeline, limitations, and etcetera – out of your head. It’s not important how you capture them outside your head as long as they’re saved somewhere besides your brain. This is one of the important aspects my technology to-do list serves for me.

This complete collection of all your to-dos can be utterly overwhelming. I’ll confess that quite often looking at my whole to-do list can paralyze me. It’s not that I don’t recognize what needs to be done or that many items are for the future – it’s just that there’s so many – ugh. A pro for a digital collection of your tasks is that it stays neat and never requires you to rewrite it since you can move, rearrange, and modify any and all tasks easily. I’m pretty confident that I am saving significant time simply by not rewriting and reorganizing my lists!

For exactly this reason as well as some other reasons, I sit down once a week with this master to-do list, my calendar, and my ARC notebook. I review most of the tasks on my list considering the time and energy I’ll likely have to dedicate to working on these items. Then I date the page in my ARC notebook, “June 3-9, 2013” and proceed to list typically 7-14 tasks, the goals of what I want to accomplish during that week. The process of writing them down serves me in a couple of way – it forces me to be mindful of how many tasks I’ve set out to do since I find that just a digital list can too easily grow unrealistically. Also, writing them down seems to help my memory of them without the list in front of me – there’s research that supports the process of writing connects our brains with it more than just reading it.

A couple of notes:

– generally I recommend not setting more than 3 goals/tasks per day as a common struggle is to overestimate how much we can do which can then lead us to feeling unsuccessful and more overwhelmed though of course varies according to your own life

– some people find it helpful to add their tasks directly into their calendar which is great if it works (my inner child rebels against that vehemently! lol)

Even with this process, it doesn’t mean that I don’t look at my master to-do list during the week. First, my master list has regular daily or weekly tasks that aren’t included on my weekly handwritten to-dos. Second, as much as we might try to plan our weeks (or days) things can arise that require we adapt or change our focus.

This is when I find the digital to-do list additionally helpful. Most (maybe all?) digital to-do programs come with multiple features for organizing your to-dos. How you set those up and how you use them is quite personal. I’ve designated areas or “roles” of my life (which I talked some about in, Tasks – Big Picture View): Routines (this is new for me), Business, Household, Health, Personal, Volunteering. Ideally I spend some time each week in each of these areas and if I need to shift my goals for the week, I can consider if I want to focus on a particular area and use the program to only look at those tasks. I have some tasks set with an alarm, which helps make sure they’re dealt with.

Another way the digital to-do list helps me is that I set up contexts (only 1 per task) and tags (no limit per task), both of which I can sort with and see only those tasks that relate to what I’ve specified. There are times when I put off certain types of tasks and then find myself motivated to tackle them. Let me give you an example – what I consider “technical” phone calls are disturbingly problematic, those phone calls where

there’s a strong probability that it will either be phone tag and I’d ideally be around to limit the phone tag or
require being on hold indefinitely

Chances are that only those types of phone calls are even on my master to-do list and by setting the context as “@Phone calls” I can pull all them up regardless of what category they fit into and burn through them when I have the time and feel up to it. Similarly one way I use tags is for identifying types of tasks that match my current capabilities – my physical and mental state like I talked about in Your Tasks have Needs.

I’ve combined my to-do list into using both technology and more traditional methods. Some might find my way to be slightly redundant. Yet it’s my way, not anyone else’s – it’s been changed and modified over the years according to what does and doesn’t work as well as working through how to make it more successful. I doubt I will ever be done tweaking it – like the written list that sometimes has a specific day written by the tasks and sometimes time estimates while most of the time it’s just the task. It’s most important that you find ways that work for you – a system for handling your tasks that supports you in making progress through them – whatever that ends up looking like for you.

Listen to Understand

My husband was sharing how he overheard some coworkers talking – Dave was asking about the family situation of John. Then Dave began to tell John just what he needed to do. Meanwhile my husband knew a bit about John’s situation and saw how Dave wanted to give advice more than understand the choices John and his family had consciously made.

Families can be notorious for having the answers for each other. The mom/dad/sibling who knows just what you need to do, and it would solve all your difficulties. Except they really don’t. This doesn’t just happen in families, it happens with coworkers and friends, almost anywhere. We all like to think we understand what the other person is dealing with and how to help them.

We share a common bond – we’re human and have similar life experiences. We went to school. We have a family. We’ve felt unwell. We’ve loved; we’ve lost. We want to connect. Yet with all our shared, similar experiences, the way we think and feel about those things can be dramatically different for each of us. Our perspective about these events is based on more than the actual event – it’s colored by our prior life experiences, our own personality, the effect of that experience, and the list can go on and on.

Some people think that as a professional organizer I will come on in and know just what to do to fix their struggles. I could try to do that – although I won’t. It wouldn’t be sustainable that way, since it doesn’t take into account the individual and their situation. The cause of their struggles could be any number of things and without understanding that – how much of a true solution could there possibly be? All those variations based on their life need to be considered.

That doesn’t mean that I won’t present lots of ideas and share stories. I will even discourage someone from tackling things in a certain way. Yet, each person is truly an individual so that means they need to learn and experience things their way. How many of us touching a hot stove at some point in life, despite being told not to? Sometimes we need to learn things for ourselves, through direct experience.

What I try to do most is to listen. Then I ask questions to follow up on what they’ve shared. I listen to the language they use – are there lots of “shoulds” in what they are choosing? What are those “shoulds” about? How did this or that experience effect them? My answers are not their answers, just as my experience is not their experience – the perspective we take away can be strictly our own.

This was illustrated a while back for me as I was working with one of my clients. I wish I remembered the specific details more, though she was sharing an experience with me. She and I have several things in common – I can relate to many things in her experience, and I almost jumped in with a comment about “yeah, I know how you feel…” Then I caught myself (it does take practice to counter the familiar response of jumping in with both answers and relating) and instead asked her how that felt. Her response was not what I’d expected – despite our similarities. That is exactly what stuck with me – by listening and asking more, I heard her and learned more about her experience.

One of the greatest gifts we can offer people is to listen to them. Really listen to them. Get curious – about yourself and others – and ask follow-up questions. How did you decide on that? What influenced this choice? Deep down what we all want is to be heard – hoping to be understood. Everyone could be understood – their choices came from their life and experiences. Practice listening – it’s harder than you might think!

Your Tasks have Needs

Endless to-do lists exist everywhere. Even when you get caught up on your current tasks, more to-dos are bound to come your way. There’s no escaping them, whether you write them down or keep them in your head. Living our life, there is always more to do. Finding a way to organize your to-do list can be just as individual as anything else – discovering how to make it work for you is most important. Part of making things work for you is to make the most of your current state.

It’s not uncommon that some of us are most successful with completing certain types of tasks. What do those tasks have in common? What makes them easier to handle? What’s similar between tasks you tend to avoid? What leads you to feeling successful with your to-do list? What’s the biggest challenge with your list?

Our current state can have a dramatic impact on how we move through or avoid our tasks. Too often we wait until our feelings to lead us to our to-do list, “Now I feel ready to work on my list.” Yet what happens when you are always too tired, too sick, too overwhelmed?

I challenge you to consider your tasks in a different way – match the tasks with what you are capable of right now. Although there any number of ways to break tasks into categories, for this particular approach consider these two factors – the physical and mental requirements – for each task on your list.

It’s more likely that you get the physical tasks accomplished when you feel like you have enough energy to tackle it. Yet, when you are struggling with consistent fatigue or pain issues, those active tasks might be put off. This makes sense. Although if you begin to consider your tasks according to how physical they are, you can also begin to figure out how to make the most of your energy when it’s available – you’ll know which tasks to make a priority.

Likewise when you have little to no energy, you probably have tasks that are less physically strenuous. If you’ve identified which tasks those are, you can tackle those. And be sure to consider if there are ways to make some tasks less physically demanding – like the drawer you can pull out completely and put it next to you on the couch.

The second category can be just as important as the physical requirements per task. Our mental state and completing tasks has the potential to backfire – think about organizing something when you are practically brain-dead with exhaustion (which hopefully you wouldn’t do anyway). There are tasks that we can complete almost automatically – you don’t need to be completely focused to get your dishes done. Other tasks need more attention – we have to think and make decisions.

Both of these 2 categories are both really a spectrum – it’s generally not as simple as sedentary versus active – it’s a scale where you move between the two extremes. I generally think of tasks as falling on one side or the other though – for simplicities sake. I apply the same rules to the mental category too – complex versus simple (often thinking of them as intellectual vs. mindless). Yet, even by putting tasks into these extremes brings awareness about what each task will need of my attention whether they easily fit into those extremes. Then you also can alternate among the different categories to maintain or even increase your progress through your to-do list.

Therefore if you can match up the tasks on your list to your current state, mentally and physically, you can probably get a lot more crossed off your list. By pairing up your tasks with your current abilities, you will also prevent the need for a long recovery – physically or emotionally – from accidentally overextending yourself. Considering your to-do list with these factors in mind offers you the opportunity to make the most of your time and energy to get things accomplished in a sensible way.

My Top Paid App Picks (plus one free app)

Continuing with the theme of technology and productivity, it’s time to talk about apps that might be worth paying for. Remember the most important aspect to any technology is what your personal needs are – how do you use or want to use your tools. Using our technology tools, we all vary in what we need and how we use them.

The chances are that there are some free apps that could help you avoid spending money. Yet even then there are times when it makes more sense to purchase something that will meet your needs. As I’ve said more than once, I tend to be frugal and especially dislike spending money on something that may or may not meet my needs. I have more than 100 apps, yet have spent money on only a few. Apps tend to be significantly less expensive than your traditional computer programs, and I appreciate that.

So, moving on, these are the apps I purchased and why.

1. Todo ($4.99)

This is exactly what it sounds like – a to-do program. In many ways it functions like many of the other to-do programs available. It allows you to create projects and checklists as well as a simple to-do item. You can create multiple categories – like home, work, personal, etc. as well as repeating tasks, start date, priority, alarms, etc. It also offers you the option of setting tags and contexts – so you can sort by these and see all your tasks that fall under one of these – like all your phone calls or those tasks that require your spouse’s help. One of the reasons I like it is that my past do items (yes, I do have past due to-do tasks!) are listed yet aren’t quite as annoying as with some other apps. This program is my brain dump for all tasks, it’s where I collect all those tasks that I need to remember and accomplish.

One image from Todo app (this view from phone, not tablet)

2. Pages ($9.99)

It’s a word processing app, the equivalent of Word for Mac, and it does allow you to save your files as a Word file (DOC) as well as a PDF. This is certainly an app that is useful only if you want and have a need for doing a fair amount of typing on your iPad. Not everyone adjusts to the keyboard or even needs to do much typing; I have written more than one blog on my iPad using this app. The iPad version is friendlier than the computer version of Pages. It is very straight forward and easy to use – not much of a learning curve.

One image from Pages app

3. Notability ($1.99 “on sale 60% now”)

A month ago I said I’d only purchased 5 apps, this one was my 6^th purchase as I was looking for another program that would allow easier note taking at the NAPO conference. It offers you the option of audio recording while you take notes, linking the place in the audio to your place in the notes. You can use the keyboard or writing (finger or stylus) as well as import PDF files to take notes on. You can export all of these out of the app if you want them elsewhere later. Since I’ve only just begun using the app, I can only comment on my usage so far, and I really like it and it’s versatility.

One image from Notability app

4. iAnnotate ($9.99)

This is an app for taking notes and annotating PDF files (though they’re now offering Word and PowerPoint annotation with a free account). It offers a number of options for how to mark-up the PDF’s and how to export them. I’ve found it a little cumbersome for note taking during conference sessions, though some of that depends on the format of what I’m annotating. When there’s not such a time constraint as being in a session, I prefer this app for annotating for it’s cleanliness and versatility in how I save and export it. Recently I had a PDF I needed to scan and get back to someone, I opened it in iAnnotate, signed and dated it, and emailed it back to her – all within the app. It was wonderful and saved the hassle (and needless paper) of printing it, signing in, scanning it, and attaching and emailing it back to them.

One image from iAnnotate app

5. Numbers ($9.99)

I use this one the least and primarily for a few business needs – it’s a spreadsheet app. Like Pages above, it’s the Mac equivalent for Excel, and allows you to open and send files as XLS (Excel) files. It has many features to offer the user the versatility to do what they need with their spreadsheet. This is a good example of an app that some will need, while it would be unnecessary for many people.

One image from Numbers app

Last month I said that I’d share the 5 apps I paid for and that 4 of them are indispensable to me. You might notice that there’s only 5 apps listed and one of them is quite new for me. The ones I’ve found to be indispensable are ToDo, Pages, and iAnnotate. There’s an app that I thought I’d paid for, and yet as I look at it now, it’s free!

That’s Penultimate. This is a great handwriting app. You can create multiple notebooks and sync them with Evernote – an apparently new feature that I’ve not used. This year I created a notebook for phone calls – a place to take notes on both the messages I collect from voicemail and while talking to someone. They’re all in one place and there’s a way to view all the pages within a notebook, so when I need to find my notes on a specific phone call it’s easy to do. It’s also the place I can quickly write something down, even with my finger (though it’s messier than with the stylus) and when I want to “throw” away the note, there’s an option to clear or delete the page. You can also send a whole notebook or even just a page within a notebook with email.

One image from Penultimate app

One of the things I’m realizing is how this tool – the iPad with associated apps – are moving me naturally toward being more paperless. This didn’t happen overnight – it’s actually taken me years of using it and adapting to using the technology. Yet, with my growing comfort and considering things in different lights I’m realizing how to utilize the various features more fully.

Some people believe tablets will replace computers before long, there’s nothing I can think of that you can’t do on a tablet. I still find my computer to be quite useful and in some ways easier to use – though we all know how fast technology changes. Now I’m going to feel like a broken record – find and use the tools that will assist you in making your life easier. 🙂

4 Products from the NAPO Conference 2013

I think it’s my curiosity, but I really look forward to seeing what products are being offered. The NAPO conference expo is a great place to discover new products. It’s a convenient way to learn about the variations that can be hard to be aware of without doing research – like with my recent post about Hanging Folders. And it’s already been another year and last week was our 2013 NAPO conference. Here are 4 products that I found interesting – though stay tuned to see more details about their actual performance.

1. Staples Better Binder with Removable FileRings

These are reinforced 3 ring binders that have pull-tabs to remove it from the binder. Once it has been removed from the binder, you can hang the 3-ring part in a filing cabinet. It even comes with a label on the back of the 3-rings for labeling. Other interesting aspects are that with the binder itself there is a convenient way to label the spine and for a page to be inserted on the front of the binder without traditional challenges. Also, the pockets that are included in binders with this particular one appear to be much more user friendly.

Binder with removable rings

2. Ampad Versa Crossover Notebook (from Pendaflex)

This is quite similar to the Arc Notebook from Staples that I reviewed from last year’s NAPO conference. I’m intrigued with the smaller page dividers and looking into other features this specific notebook offers.

Versa Crossover Notebook

3. Erasable Hanging Folder Tabs, Hanging Folders, and File Folders (from Smead)

These have a surface that allows you to use a white eraser to remove your prior label and then re-label them. The first thing I did when I saw these was to try to use my finger to smudge or erase the words – it had no impact. If you like to hand-write your labels, this could be a great way to keep your files and hanging folders useful for much longer.

Erasable hanging folder tab and file folder

4. Ampad Shot Note

This is something that received a fair amount of attention from all the organizer’s attending the expo. It’s a system for taking your notes and drawings from handwriting to handheld. There is special paper with four corners that connect with their app and converts it into digital files for you. I joked with the guy that you could avoid using their paper up by placing papers on top so that the 4 corners were still visible – as this is the most critical part for their system.

Ampad ShotNote

There were other products that were introduced which I might briefly share later. These were the ones that I found to be the most different that could also offer more features for the users. I’m intrigued with these and look forward to using them – seeing if I find more aspects to them as I implement using them.

The Pyramid Effect of Getting Organized

You can’t do “a” until you get “b,” “c,” and “d” done. And sometimes that’s a short version – since there are times you have 10 things to accomplish before you can work on the thing that you most want to work on. This is one of those common struggles we all face. It doesn’t necessarily correlate to how much space and stuff you have. Nevertheless, a series of things need to happen before you can achieve your goals.

First, it’s most helpful to make a plan before you dig into anything. This can feel counterproductive – you want to use the energy and motivation to jump in and start getting things done, not to be still and think about the process. It will save you time and energy in the long run since you can avoid making more of a mess in an area that needs to wait until further into the process.

Often this means making a list, which some of us do better than taking action. 🙂 For instance, if you have furniture that needs to be shifted between rooms, it can help to figure out what needs to happen in order for the space to be made available.

You know you want the dresser to be moved into the spare bedroom.
- The spot for the dresser in the spare bedroom has a reading chair and a desk.
  - The reading chair needs to be moved to another space in the spare bedroom.
    - The only other space in the spare bedroom is filled with random, full bins – they need to be moved somewhere.
      - The bins need to be sorted and organized.
- The desk needs to go to the corner in the dining room.
  - The corner in the dining room has spare chairs for the table; those need to go to the basement.
    - The driest place in the basement for the chairs has boxes that you need to break down to make space for the dining table chairs.

This is a relatively simple example of the pyramid effect just to get the dresser into the spare bedroom. It’s even easier because it deals with large items that are fairly clear-cut. And you know that you it will be simplest for you to break down boxes in the basement as the first step, then to move the chairs from the dining room down, and then you will be able to move the desk into the dining room.

Making these types of plans only work when you know what you want to do with each of the items in question. It can be further simplified when you are getting rid of things – if you were getting rid of the desk – then all that would be left is dealing with moving the reading chair.

Second, when considering the pyramid effect of getting organized, you might need to think about the big picture and avoid small picture thinking. Thinking about planning for the small details will be important, although you’ll be more effective if you wait until the time is right. So, like those bins from the example above – it would make the most sense (probably – since there can be variables to change that!) to wait to dig into them until after the furniture has been rearranged.

Initially, think about broad categories (or zones, activities, etc.) that relate to your life and stuff. These will vary from person to person as well as be different depending on what and how much you’re working on. You might need to consider the relevance for life right now – are there things that you need to keep quite accessible versus things that can be buried a little deeper (though still with related things)?

Sometimes it makes the most sense to make bins, piles, whatever in a specific, available space related to a broad category and leave it for a while. If you have all your gift wrapping supplies piled in a corner, bin, etc., even without any further organization – you still know where they are when you need something. This can apply to any category – office supplies, recipes, financial papers (not needing your attention), tools, exercise equipment (small ones), art supplies, articles of interest and everything else.

The degree that you apply this can vary – a lot will depend on the space available as well as the “homes” you already have set up. If you already have a place for office supplies, even if it’s full, you’d put all other office supplies as close as possible to the ones you have.

The initial steps are to get everything that’s in the same category together. It’s challenging to create good organization for things when you don’t have all of it available to you. Once you have all the like things together, then you can begin to organize it – you can see that you will need more space for tools (or whatever), that you need to make space “here” for this, the subcategories you need for these papers, and then consider what containers and organizing tools will support you.

If we continue with the pyramid analogy, you need to create a strong foundation to build on – which means waiting to make decisions about the small details until you get the big stuff (categories) together. There’s no arguing that it can make things feel more tedious – especially if you’re eager to get organized. Yet in the long run you will find more success that you take things slowly and methodically.

My Top Free App Picks

Recently I talked about Technology Tools – To Get or Not to Get, as well as how well the iPad serves my needs. This lead me to think about what apps are virtually indispensable to me, as well as how extremely overwhelmed I can become even looking at all the possible apps.

It’s not surprising to be overwhelmed by the number of apps – since it’s reported that there are more than 1 million in iTunes. And it’s a personal peeve of mine that they don’t offer free trials – to see if the app will meet my needs before I spend money on it – even if it’s only $1.99 or some other “minor” amount. Those small purchases can add up. Yet, there are many free apps and I’ve only paid for 5 of the 100+ apps I have. I’ve been grateful for the input of friends on what is worth getting.

Therefore, without further ado, here are my top free apps and why.

1. Evernote

I’ve talked about Evernote before, in Note Taking for Virtually Everything, and need to revisit this incredible cloud program again in my blog. Since it’s a cloud program, it can be on most any device and offer you access to your account. Evernote is amazing in how it can collect all the things you want to remember and be functional. It can also serve as a place to back-up things from your iPad.

One view of Evernote

2. Dropbox

Here’s another cloud program that I talked about in my cloud computing entries, in Drop Files You Use – Here, which works with many devices to provide access to your account. It also offers the option to back-up data from your iPad into it, like photos, and can be easier than Evernote to access any pdf files.

One view of Dropbox

3. Alarmed

You probably know that I am a fan of timers – it’s a good tool to help keep you on track and to get a sense of the time things take you. I have 11 free timer apps on my iPad from my exploration of timer options. Alarmed is the one I use the most – it has both a reminder and a timer section and both allow you to create several alarms and choose from multiple alarm sounds. I use the reminders as a repeating system to remind me to relax before bed and similar things when I might lose track of time. The timer area has alarms for the washer and dryer as well as the “You can do 15 minutes” alarm when I’m struggling to get moving.

View of Alarmed timer

4. 30/30

I hope to use this one more, especially since they’ve recently resolved some issues. It’s similar to a timer app as it’s a self-proclaimed “task manager.” It offers a visual display of what’s on your list, the time remaining on the task and what’s up next. I’ve been using it to help me create new routines – many of us are familiar with how challenging it can be to get in new habits – and this gives me a framework for remembering and doing it. I also use it for times when I might have a tendency to get off track – a system for keeping me focused on one area for a period of time before moving to the next area. I really appreciate the visual aspects of this app – from choosing a color and an icon for each task as well as the ring with time elapsed moving along.

One view of 30/30

5. Dragon Dictation

This is another app that I don’t use all the time, yet when I use it, I really appreciate it. It does require an internet connection and you have a limited amount of time to speak, yet it does a pretty good job in transcribing your speech into text. From there you can send it or paste it into the app of your choice. Considering this is a $200- computer program that is free for the i-devices – it’s great!

One view of Dragon Dictation

There are more apps that I use and appreciate. These 5 free apps are the ones that help me most – with simplifying, with organization, with productivity, with supporting me in my life. Although these cannot help anyone if they sit unused on your device – you have to use it to make it helpful. Next month I’ll share the 5 apps that I did actually pay for – and 4 of them made it to my indispensable list along with these 5 I talked about today. Remember what matters most is finding and using the tools that will help you make the most out of your life.

Embrace the Duality

I have a wonderful job – I get to work with amazing people. Often I get to meet some of their family members. Occasionally those family members aren’t supportive (at least as I would like to see them being supportive). Even more rarely, I will overhear comments about my being there to help. One spouse in particular would make comments when I would arrive – “we don’t want any,” time after time. He could have been kidding or he could have been frustrated. In truth, it could be either of these, or both, or some combination of any number of things.

It’s much easier to put those experiences into “boxes” that we understand – oh, they made that rude comment to me so they must be rude. Or as so many of us take the responsibility on ourselves – they did this or that, so it must be because they’re upset with me. Our explanations for things can fall into a context that makes sense to us – and often is a clear-cut, black or white interpretation. This may or may not be the truth for them.

Where’s the middle ground in how we view things? Well, first it’s incredibly hard to simply hold an experience and not put it into a “box.” It takes energy and focus. We have to look at it – rather than shove it away and maybe avoid it.

We do these same things with our own behaviors – we label ourselves as “good” or “bad” for this or that choice, behavior, action. I know very few people who go around making bad decisions – they make the best choice based on the information they have, their own personality, and values. As with everyone on this planet, it was the “best” decision they could have made in that moment and situation.

Consider a pro-con list – with each choice you’re considering there are pros and there are cons. They are personal to you – your pros (and cons) might not be anyone else’s. It’s the opposite sides to one coin – the choice contains both the pros and cons – at least potentially.

The same thing can be said of the things we do with our life – day to day. We go to a job that often frustrates us, yet it’s not as simple as just needing the money – we believe in what we’re doing and find joy in it periodically. We have so many interests that we fill our schedules full and our anxiety skyrockets – yet we wouldn’t change it and find those activities rewarding. We buy containers to organize the stuff surrounding us that sit unused adding to the stuff around – yet there’s hope for making changes. Our ongoing behaviors and choices can have both pros and cons within them. It’s not as simple as black or white.

My job means that I will sometimes work with people whose family isn’t as supportive of them as I would like them to be. It doesn’t mean that I won’t do this work or work with those clients. And it doesn’t mean that I will understand what is truly going on with the family members – their concern, their frustration, their whatever – unless they share with me.

There’s nothing wrong with the duality and it doesn’t have to be one or the other – “good” or “bad.” There’s nothing saying that we can’t live with and stay with those contradictions in our lives. It doesn’t make it easy to see and hold the duality though. When we can open our eyes, see the pros as well as the cons, and accept it – then we gain some clarity – a big picture view. And maybe changes will have to be made, but even then, the next choice will have some duality too!

Ready to Escape the Pain

There’s a reason I don’t sell gift certificates generally. Never mind that some people would be mortally offended to be given a gift of a professional organizer, it would be a waste of money unless the person was ready. They need to decide there’s a better way and to make the effort to change. If I only had a magic wand, this could be different, maybe. When we pause to consider that someone has to be ready to make changes otherwise nothing else will make a long-term difference, we can see how true it is. The first step is that when the pain becomes too great, we’re inspired to figure out alternatives.

My husband and I have had long interesting conversations about pain. Generally you hear how having a high pain tolerance is a good thing, “it makes you stronger.” I know I associate the idea of a high pain tolerance with resiliency; the strength to make it through whatever comes my way. And we’ve come the conclusion that for many things we have a low tolerance for pain.

Consider the person who is constantly losing their keys, phone, purse, wallet, etc. I have a friend who struggles with this and they race around in some degree of panic searching – eventually finding whatever it was and moving along with their day. And it happens again and again; and yet it seems normal to them, it’s just how it is.

Then there’s other people who’ve lost their keys or whatever, get frustrated, and decide to do things differently – they get determined. They make a decision for how to avoid it happening and begin to implement that change. It doesn’t get fixed overnight and it doesn’t mean that it never happens again. Yet, it does mean that it’s more of a rare occurrence rather than a common one.

The second example is someone with a low pain tolerance. The “pain” of losing that item is too great to simply continue in the same way – it instigates the desire for change. The frustration or annoyance is greater than the challenge of finding a new way of doing something and making that new system work. This includes failing and faltering along the way to the new system, yet determined to avoid the pain of lost keys with any frequency.

The frustration of a spouse, parent, or sibling is fairly irrelevant – the pain has to be yours if true lasting changes are going to be made. And that’s not to say that the frustration of a loved one isn’t motivating, but it can spur movement that is short-lived. Consider the example of alcoholics – the person needs to make the decision on their own to change otherwise they’ll return to drinking. The impetus for change wasn’t coming from within. The context is irrelevant, the person needs to reach the point where they want things to be different, better.

Let me be perfectly clear – we all live our lives the best we can. If you are someone who loses your keys regularly and haven’t done anything about it, that’s fine – there is no one right way. People can lead great lives while constantly losing their keys, although they might be frustrating their spouse. 🙂 That’s not the point. If YOU don’t mind losing your keys, what would motivate you to change that?

As I’ve touched on before, facing changes can be challenging, even when they’re wanted (or positive). Therefore, when the risk of doing something different is less painful than staying the same – we embark on the process of finding better ways. It might well even be a process of 2 steps forward, 1 step back – it’s a journey into unfamiliar territory. It’s also a way to learn about yourself and discover that having a low pain tolerance makes you strong.