Calendar Considerations

It’s getting to that time of year when many of us might be purchasing calendars for the upcoming year. There are many factors involved if you want to consider something different for yourself. And let me say up front, I strongly feel that if you have something that works for you, it’s ideal to stick with what works for you. Period. If the system you’ve been using isn’t working as well, then it’s time to as least think about the options you have. So, let’s jump right in and discuss the variations in the way calendars are designed.

First, we have the big choice between paper and digital. As I’ve already said, if what you use works, then stick with it. Even if that means you have a paper calendar. There’s nothing wrong about sticking with a paper calendar in our growing digital society. On the other hand, if the paper isn’t working for you, then it’s worth considering if a digital calendar would be more effective.

When using a digital calendar, most people think of the more portable – the phone and tablets – although some people still use just their computer calendar. There is a learning curve if this is new to you – as with anything new. You need to get used to how it works and often learn to trust it. The digital calendars often have multiple ways to view it – similar to the paper calendars – you have daily, weekly, and monthly, which give you the flexibility to focus on your schedule in the way that works for you.

One of the features that I appreciate in the digital calendar is the ability to set alarms – I choose the amount of forewarning I want (or if I don’t want one at all). Another positive aspect of the digital is how I can create repeating events easily and have no need to enter the information more than once. It just occurred to me also that there’s no recurring cost for the digital calendars or getting it up to date for the coming year – I have some appointments repeating forever.

Second, when you are looking at paper calendars, you need to decide on the format you want. Most calendars have a monthly view in addition to either a daily or a weekly view. Depending on your needs, a weekly view is usually sufficient for most people as it allows you to put in many appointments as well as some tasks (if you chose to do that). The weekly view also gives you an easy overview of what’s coming up.

I reviewed 2 planners last year, both of which I still think about and appreciate: Planner Pad and Taylor Planner. If I was still using a paper calendar, I would be using one of these and I would be torn about which one.

Something else you want to think about is how you handle your to-dos. Do you put them into your calendar? Do you put them in another place within the calendar or are they completely separate? What other things do you want or need to track with your calendar (or calendar system) – phone numbers, grocery lists, websites, projects, ideas, etc? Digitally, this would likely require different programs or apps on the device, whereas with paper it could all be contained together or divided, as you prefer.

The only time to change your calendar is if you’re struggling with your current system. With so many choices of calendars, it can be challenging to decide on which one to use. Therefore, before rushing out and simply grabbing something, consider what your needs are for your system.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Here I am about to state the obvious – my blog always comes out the day before Thanksgiving. This causes me to have mixed feelings – I want everyone to be focused on enjoying their day. There are times to be thinking about our habits, our organizing, our time management, and etcetera. Then there are times when it’s time to set that aside for a while – other priorities are more important.

One of the things I talk to people about is setting priorities. When everything holds the same value, everything can lose its value. Think about it in terms of stuff – if you are so surrounded by things you love, how can you love everything when you can’t see or find it? This applies just as much to our interests – if you want to do everything, you need to figure out what exactly you want to focus on first.

Even more importantly, you need to decide what can wait – when it’s time to set something aside – either permanently or just for the time being. This is part of what causes someone to feel overwhelmed – the feeling that there is just so much to be done and not being able to leave something undone.

All of life is a journey – like organizing – there’s not an end point. There’s always more to be done, more to organize, more to improve, and on and on infinitum. It’s part of what makes life so interesting. It’s also exactly this that frustrates our efforts.

My vision of this is walking down a road, coming to the familiar crossroads, and choosing a path. Sometimes this path is about setting something down for a while – I leave that thing, the interest or desire, by the side of the road – because it’s just an image, I know I can pick that interest back up again after I’ve traveled for a while.

Often the holidays are full of routines – we always get together with so and so on Thanksgiving. As with virtually everything I talk about – I encourage you to figure out your own needs and values – for Thanksgiving as with anything else. It can be challenging to align your priorities with your life, yet it’s important to do.

Feeling Stressed and Overwhelmed?

There has been a lot going on with me – both personally and professionally. I see how I am cycling through feeling overwhelmed and feeling balanced. As a professional organizer, I do feel a need to largely be balanced. Yet I am human and therefore not perfect. This also means that I can relate to many of the struggles my clients face. So, what to do?

Most of us end up feeling overwhelmed at some point and even more often than sometimes. I’ve talked about this before in Overwhelmed? and in Coping with Feeling Overwhelmed — all my points can help someone move through things even when feeling overwhelmed. Except there’s something that probably needs to happen first – you need to consider what you need.

What’s contributing to your feelings of being overwhelmed?
When do you tend to feel this way?
What connections can you discover about this?
What would help you in the midst of this feeling?

There’s a time to push through, to take the first smaller steps of dealing with things. Then there’s a time to give yourself a break. Only you can hope to discover which of these is right for you.

If you are anything like me, you might be filled with self-doubt that you are going to be too easy on yourself. How can one really, truly know when it’s time to allow some space instead of plodding ahead?

Are you able to step back and recognize your own tendencies with objectivity? This world is filled with all types – and I tend toward that Type A driven personality. I expect a lot of myself. Meanwhile, there are some people who are comfortable and even yearn for all the time off they can get without any inner drive to do more. Since I recognize that I can be hard on myself, I then can pause to consider if it’s time to give myself some slack. This won’t necessarily eliminate the inner doubts, yet it’s a step in the right direction.

What are those things contributing to your feeling overwhelmed – and how critical are they?
- How many of them could wait?

How much better could you accomplish them if you took some time to rejuvenate yourself?

There are times I wish I could disappear for just a little while – yet for me that feels too much like trying to escape. It usually improbable that we can abdicate all our responsibilities when we’re feeling overwhelmed. This simply means that we need to identify the most important things to focus on – notice I said important – which doesn’t necessarily mean the most critical. And what is most important for you might be completely unique to you.

As with everything I write about – there is no one way of doing anything – and that includes how to take the best care of yourself. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I would encourage you to take that as a sign that it’s time for you to pause and consider what would help you to be revitalized. Feeling stressed and overwhelmed is often a signal that something is out of balance – figuring out what that is can only help you through it.

Thinking about Money

Sometimes I think money is thing that causes people the most anguish. Even if you have “enough” it doesn’t eliminate the concerns and issues that come with needing money. And really, how many of us feel like we actually have “enough” – there are so many unknowns in this world. We tend to have strong opinions about how it should be spent or saved. I’m not here to tell you any of those things, yet to encourage you to think about money more.

Several months ago my husband and I were talking about some purchases. We checked prices online and it gave us pause. The lovely picture we were considering for over the sofa was a bit more than we’d expected. Since we’ve already recognized the temptation for making purchases without enough thought, we consoled ourselves that we weren’t making a decision in this moment. There was time to see how we felt later and moved on with our day.

It was a weekend day and we headed to the Renaissance Faire. We had a few vendors we wanted to visit and were considering a purchase there. It’s a tapestry shop and we discovered these exquisite tapestries – a set of 4 – and it came with a discount when you buy at least 2. Oh was I drooling over them.

Fortunately my husband and I had established a good pattern before buying anything unplanned. We walk away. We found a place to sit and talk about our thoughts regarding these tapestries. He liked them as much as I did and had the same temptation to bring them home. Still we moseyed along, visiting another vendor, knowing we still had time to get back and buy the tapestries.

Then something interesting happened. My husband was struck with the irony that just that morning we were cringing about spending about the same amount on one thing yet somehow we weren’t reacting in the same way at the thought of buying several things. We’d been sucked in by the idea that by getting more for the same money it somehow wasn’t the same – never mind that we’d get a discount for getting more than one.

It doesn’t matter what it was or how much – it’s about how varied we can be about things. In one context, we pause and consider; in another, we barely pause and almost rush in. We practice being thoughtful – controlling our impulses in order to discern what matters most to us.

Have you ever bought something and later regretted it? I’d be surprised if you haven’t. We’re working on cutting down on those regrets, hence why we walk away in the first place.

What is it about that thing that makes you want to take it home with you?
Will this feeling fade or will you feel the same way in a year? Are there alternatives?
Are you simply wanting to buy and not so concerned with its use and value?
If you were to spend the money on this thing, is there something else you’d rather spend the money on?

Buying things is necessary – we all have to do it. Yet how mindful are we of how and on what we spend our money? If we begin to recognize our own patterns about money, we can take steps to lead a life that supports who we are and our values. Money causes enough headaches; don’t let it cause you unnecessary pain.

By the way, the beautiful tapestries stayed with the vendor and the limited edition print was ordered a while later. Months later this still feels like the right decision for us.

Envisioning Your Space

When you are looking at reclaiming your life and your space, it’s important to begin thinking about how your space will be. Sometimes this can be challenging for people, how can they imagine anything past what they are currently dealing with. Yet, this relates to goals – what are your goals for your space? What do you want to get out of being more organized – and more than finding things easily?

We all have different visions for our spaces, if you can imagine it at all. There are many different ways a space can look and feel. Beyond the decorating scheme, the way you arrange furniture and use décor can influence how the room feels. Consider how your partner feels about things as well, as what feels good for you might be the opposite for them.

The first step often is identifying how you want to feel in your space – relaxed, comfortable, serene, energized, etc. Obviously, you probably won’t want to feel the same way in every room, especially if you’re looking to feel energized which wouldn’t be conducive to a restful night of sleep.

Once you’ve figured out how you want to feel, you can move on to discovering what that means for you personally. What does relaxed look like to you? What makes something relaxing for you? How is relaxed expressed for you? This means thinking outside your current space and in more general terms.

I want to feel enveloped in my space. I’ve begun to think of it as a nest – my home is a place that surrounds me with love and beauty. This vision isn’t immutable; it shifts and changes. I had at least one shelf in every room for a while, yet this began to feel more like clutter – a place to put more stuff. These came down, pictures go up, and the décor either gets rearranged, saved, or donated. Yet, as I look around and change things, my home is still my nest.

Consider these two extremes: the house full of knick-knacks and the sparse and immaculate house. Both of these can be relaxing to someone – although not likely the same person. Neither is wrong. Really. I do encourage people to avoid either of these extremes and find the way it feels good for them.

What feels like “home”? What feels comfortable? What is realistic for you and your family? Maybe the sparse and immaculate home sounds ideal, yet is this reasonable for your life? And there’s time for hard choices – I have a room that feels too crowded. For the size of the room and what I use it for, there’s no room for anything more. I recognize this, yet I’ve evaluated the different pieces and I am not willing to part with things right now.

We all need goals to help direct our efforts. When tackling major organizing projects or simply revamping a space, consider your own vision of how you want the space to feel. Then, how do you set things up to create that effect?

Cycles of Time

For every time there is a season. I’ve talked before about how I deeply appreciate the seasons, the symbol of how things change – maybe not a lot, yet change surrounds us. This doesn’t necessarily make it easy. It can be challenging to embrace the changes happening. Yet, adapting and then thriving require us to figure out how to make the most of the changes. If you think about yourself over the course of a day, your energy and focus shift throughout that day.

How do you handle your own cycles? There are lots of people who’ve talked about working on your most challenging task during the time of the day when you are most focused. I think of this as finding and working during your prime time.

Sometimes it’s hard to figure out your prime time. There are many factors that impact your focus – the biggest being sleep and making sure you are getting enough good rest. If you are dealing with mental health issues, these too take a tremendous toll on your focus. There are many things that can interfere with your prime time. It’s important to handle these things and be gentle with yourself if you’re struggling to make the most of your time.

It’s great to make the most of your prime time for getting things accomplished; yet typically we can’t stop working after our best time is over. We still have things we need to work on, though hopefully we’ll have made the most of our prime time. This is one the reasons that I think about my tasks in relation to various factors, i.e. time, energy, activity, intellectual, etc.

Do you think about your energy and attention when you’re considering your to-do list? A few years back I began making sure my to-do list had different types of tasks. Too many times I was staring at the list dreading it all and simply procrastinating. By thinking about my energy and attention, I wasn’t making the to-do list that would facilitate making the most of my time. Now I make sure that there are a variety of types of tasks – so when I am feeling more drained, I can work on more sedentary tasks – either needing more or less concentration depending on my level of focus.

In this day and age it seems there’s always more to do, and this means that we can set up our to-do lists with various criteria. Figure out when your prime time is and make the most of that. Then consider what things you can do when you’re more tired – those tasks that require less thought or less activity. If we always have options for getting things accomplished even when we’re not at our best – we move through the to-do list steadily.

Making Progress?

Recently I was talking with a client and she commented that she “should be more positive.” This came after her sharing that she was struggling with feeling depressed and overwhelmed. What people might not know is that I have felt this way more than I would care to admit. So I shared with her that first, we need to eliminate “should’s” from our vocabulary and to allow herself to feel her feelings. But is that all there is?

Frequently the people I work with have a tendency to neglect taking care of themselves. This is an area that is important to make time for – if you are struggling with feeling down and to make progress – look at how much time you are spending on things you enjoy. It’s surprising to see how much we think that I’ll make time for this once I get caught up, once I get that all done.

Our bodies and mind need time to rejuvenate. If we push ourselves to only be “productive,” then we actually become less productive. We struggle to get things done. We end up feeling down and overwhelmed.

This isn’t the end all, be all answer though. Just because we make time to nurture ourselves, it doesn’t magically cheer us up or make the work easy.

We could use successes. Our struggle to make sufficient progress leads to another possible culprit to our feelings – depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, etc. – we try to do too much. We want the whole basement to be organized and expect we can do that in one weekend of dedicated effort. This is an extreme example – what is “too much” varies from person to person. It’s important to figure out what is reasonable for you, and only you.

Therefore, as you work to discover what is realistic for you personally, do small things – those things that you can start and finish with a little effort. By focusing on an area that you can finish in a short amount of time, you can begin to see the effects of your working. As most people I know struggle with paperwork to one degree or another, I would recommend choosing something other than papers to organize – it’s hard to make enough progress in a short amount of time. Do something small and feel rewarded with your efforts by seeing your success.

One of the first things I ask myself if I am struggling in this area is, “what do I see that would take less than 5 minutes to do?” Often it’s those things that are small enough I put off, for whatever reason, – thinking, “they’re so easy, I’ll just do it later.” Yet, by simply doing them, I see the small successes.

Another thing to consider is a contained space to work on – a single shelf or drawer. It can be other things as well, as long as it’s relatively simple. Or consider what else you might be able to break down into a smaller piece to work on and finish. Shelves and drawers are great options since their space is defined and limited – therefore it’s clear when you are done. It also means that you can see the effects of your work. Here’s a link to what I wrote a while back on Diving into a Small Organizing Project. Consider where you have a clear vision of what needs to happen – you know how and where to organize your photographs, your jewelry, your music, your office supplies, and etcetera. This is a potential direction for your efforts.

An additional benefit to working on those small pieces is that it frees up the spaces around us – seeing if we have more space here or not enough space there. We have the potential to see how to break other projects into smaller pieces. It’s rarely a good idea to set aside a whole day to working on one of our projects – it easily leads to burnout – rather than building up the energy to work consistently, which is more effective in the long run.

Sometimes, we just need to walk away from our projects. Not for months – yet to step back and let it be for a while. Whatever it is that you are dealing with, it likely didn’t get that way in the last week, and will take time to work through. When emotions are running strong, it’s generally hard to make progress, so consider what you can manage. Then give yourself permission to do only what you can handle – even it’s nothing at the moment.

Accountability – Nasty or Nice?

This word – accountability – has troubled me sometimes. Too often someone wants to impose his or her version of it on someone else. Even the definitions I’ve found fail to communicate a strongly positive connotation.

From Miriam-Webster: the quality or state of being accountable; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions
From dictionary.com: the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable

Although they’re not necessarily negative either. There’s a weight to being accountable, you are agreeing to be responsible.

In my coaching classes, we talk about accountability a lot. Yet, it’s in the context of helping our clients define what accountability looks like for them. And then, what they want from us around their definition of accountability. They create the entire experience – according to what works for them.

Sometimes I feel a bit cynical, that the world is becoming filled with people who tend to blame others. “If only, he or she didn’t… then I wouldn’t…” Other times I think we’re reluctant to reveal the extent of the responsibility we each feel for things – to be that vulnerable.

Making changes is hard. Plain and simple. There are philosophies abounding about how to make them happen. One of the most successful tactics for realizing changes is to tell people about your intentions. This makes us most likely to follow through – there’s an accountability built in. We’re making ourselves accountable by telling other people about our goals.

This is exactly like in our coaching practice (and many organizing clients) – our clients share their intentions and we follow up and see how they are coming. Of course, we also spend time talking about the details making it specific.

Yet, what happens when someone is critical of our not succeeding in making those changes? It undermines our efforts. We’re less likely to broadcast our goals again.

We need to make sure we find supportive people to share our goals with – people who will encourage us at the same time that they won’t let us off the hook easily. Hence, hold us accountable. You need to define what that looks like for you – how do you want to be held accountable? Ideally, even if you don’t manage to meet your expectations, the result is not criticism, but curiosity, “what happened?”

Accountability can certainly develop negative connotations depending on whom you’re sharing things with. In essence, accountability is a positive concept. We all need it to some degree, just in our distinct, personal way. When I think about accountability in this way, whether for myself or for those I work with, I appreciate the value it has.

Learning

Many years ago now, I was talking with my husband about work and management roles. He was talking about the importance of employees continuing their education, how people need to be reading magazines and books related to their career- always furthering their training and education. At the time, it made sense on one level to me, I could understand that if you are in a job you need to be continuing to educate yourself about what is going on in the industry and increasing your knowledge base. Due to where I was at the time, I also cringed. Uh-oh!

To me this is a great sign whether we are in a career that speaks to who we truly are. Are we following our life passion? I shifted my direction and can honestly say now that I don’t think I will ever be satisfied with my knowledge on organizing, time management, productivity, efficiency, etc. I am constantly searching and questioning. I do this for myself as well as for what it can provide for my clients. It excites and interests me – it’s not “work.”

There are some people who are so curious they study many different things, and I do have this temptation sometimes. Yet, we all have limited time and energy – there’s only so much we can learn. Learning might not even be the highest priority – we’re already juggling many different life responsibilities. This is one of the reasons we don’t even try to learn how to do everything for ourselves; we have a network of people to turn to.

Although I could be fascinated with learning woodworking – the real deal – how to make gorgeous furniture out of wood, I am not that committed to it. It’s too involved for me, and I’d rather be doing other things with my time. I’m pretty sure we all have interests that we decide not to pursue – at least for the moment. Does this make you feel badly? Are you ashamed that there’s a limit to what you’ll try to learn? Will you avoid turning to someone who does know about a particular subject?

There comes a time when it’s worthwhile to ask for help. I’ve taken yoga classes a few times; I have yoga videos and equipment. This doesn’t stop me from deciding that in the next couple of months I will sign up for a yoga class. There’s several reasons why – I want the accountability and motivation of a class and I want someone to be able correct my poses, to name a couple of reasons. I will probably struggle with some sense of embarrassment – I’m sure my yoga practice is back at a beginner level. Nevertheless, it’s well worth it to me. Nor does it mean that I won’t be learning independently of the class.

Do you know when it’s time to ask for help? Whether it’s something you think you “should” be able to solve on your own or it’s something that you find embarrassing to admit to – there’s a time to turn to someone who is educated and passionate about the topic. Too often I hear of people resisting turning to someone to help them – from the wanting to exercise regularly yet won’t ask friends or hire a trainer, even for a short time to get them started. You don’t have to do it alone. You certainly cannot be an expert in everything.

We all need to recognize what it is that we have time and energy to learn on our own and when it’s time to turn to an expert. This can be more challenging depending on what it is that needs expert attention. Many of us don’t hesitate to take our cars to a mechanic and visit the doctor when we need. Sometimes when it’s more personal, intimate we might resist. I encourage you to open up to places where asking for help could make all the difference – you don’t need to learn everything alone.

Maintenance – Everything Needs It

As I was edging the lawn this week, I found myself thinking about how fast and easily the dirt and grass overtake the sidewalk. And I used to procrastinate doing it. Yet almost everything in our lives requires some maintenance – at least if we expect it to last. If you think about it, there’s plenty of things you are happy to maintain – your relationships, your job, what else? What are the things that you take care of in life?

When we start to think about it, there are many things that need our attention and care. Our cars need to have oil changes and the tires need air. Our clothes need to be laundered and dealt with – hung up or folded. Our dishes need to get washed. Our homes need to be cleaned periodically. Some of these can feel like work, yet we manage to get them done – at least most of the time.

Maintenance is work – even when we realize the value of it. Even if these are things that are inconsistently done, you recognize the value of it. Life is full of things aren’t easy.

What I have come to realize is that virtually everything in our lives requires maintenance. Each piece of décor needs to be dusted eventually. The knives in my kitchen need to be sharpened. The clocks on the walls need batteries as well as to be changed twice a year. The lawnmower that helps me with the grass needs to be cleaned and sharpened. The heater needs a new filter regularly. The list goes on and on.

It’s a decent argument for limiting the amount of stuff that we bring into our lives. How much time and energy do we want to spend maintaining that? Is that item worth the maintenance needed?

Yet, we also cannot eliminate all things from our lives. We need things – I appreciate my dishes and the food that I put on them. I wouldn’t want to go around naked. I like sleeping on my mattress and box spring – even if I need to rotate the mattress regularly.

We need things and therefore need to maintain those things. Therefore, consider these questions in reference to maintaining things:

What comes more easily for you?
- What makes that easier for you?
What takes work to maintain; yet you still do it consistently?
- What makes that worthwhile for you to work on it?
What are you willing to do?
- And then what are you potentially willing to give up to maintain this or that?

There are no easy answers to maintaining things – or rather to developing new patterns of maintaining things. I encourage you to recognize the things that you already maintain. Then you can use that knowledge you can gain from these successes and apply them to new areas needing maintenance.