Revisiting the Past

It’s hard for me to believe that I have been blogging since October 2009. I thought I would share an oldie but goodie from late 2009 – it seems to be popular. Maybe you haven’t seen it, although even if you have you might want to re-read it and see if it can inspire you now. 🙂

Loving What You Own

When did you last look around your home with a critical eye? Are the things you have out, things you truly love and value? And what about those things in boxes hidden around?

Whether you keep things out where you appreciate them or if you store them and rarely look at them – they take up valuable space. It’s easy to become blind to the things around us, they become part of our normal landscape, and we forget to even think about them.

It’s challenging to take that emotional step backwards to evaluate your belongings. Yet, If they are … [click to keep reading]

And the question remains, what are you going to find a better home for?

Donating Process

Last week I talked about how organizing is really a process and therefore is never finished. There’s always more to be done. If we don’t continue the process of keeping things organized, our homes easily become overrun with clutter – in the purest sense of the word. We need to discover the process that will work for each of us and for each thing that needs a process – creating the routines for organization.

For many people the process of getting rid of still good things can be the most challenging – especially once you’ve reached that relatively organized state. Also, making it part of the flow of life means continual work.

“How do I know it’s time to get rid of this?”

Sometimes I struggle to get rid of things – they’re not broken, or torn, or worn out, or stained – they are still quite usable. Yet, do I use them? I’ve gotten to the point that if I am not actually using them and cannot imagine using them (sometimes from trying to force myself to make it usable) they go into my donate pile. The thing is that if you are not using it, is there a good reason to keep it? I find that I am using things I love and appreciate, so if something isn’t getting used, it’s more likely that I don’t love it.

“I won’t have time to drop this off at a nonprofit for a while.”

If you’ve ever heard me present, I talk about how we’re not finished until we get the things out of our home, out of our garage, out of our car. This is true – if it’s still in your possession you are not free from the things. Although this is not a good reason to stop yourself from moving things further along in the process of getting it out of your space. More important than being able to quickly get it out of your space is to ask how much you’re accumulating that’s waiting to leave? If you have a lot (and you get the define that for yourself), then you need to make time – schedule it – to get the things out of your space.

“I don’t have time to go through [insert space in your home] to purge things.”

First, theoretically your spaces aren’t in need of a major overhaul – we’re talking about maintaining organizing as part of the normal life. If we integrate the process of organizing into normal living, we find a way to naturally purge things that are ready to go to their next home. If you are standing in front of your closet and recognize a shirt that no longer fits, is stained, you now dislike, whatever the case may be – pull it out right then. The same thing applies in any space – when you see something and recognize that it’s no longer useful to you, it’s time to remove it from that space.

“I can’t believe how much has accumulated so quickly.”

First, congratulations on noticing – that’s great and means that you can take steps to deal with it. After noticing, the next step is to deal with it and create systems to help limit the accumulation in the future. This is when systems are important – a way to create a flow for things to leave rather than collect. From my experience, things collect – period. If we don’t stay on top of it, the next time we look, it’s grown: kipple is the name I always think of (and wrote about).

The way that I deal with the process of getting rid of things is to have a box in one room – near a door, yet out of the way. Each time I come across something that is no longer used or loved it makes it’s way to the box. Once the box begins to fill up, I spend time listing the items in the box for tax purposes and close the top of the box. Often I do this after I get a call from a charity that is scheduling pick-ups in my area – and I do this regardless of how full or empty the box. If we’ve been busier with the purging, it really is once the box is full and then I evaluate whether I want to wait for the next phone call for a pick-up or if I want to drop it off myself.

It’s a great way to help kids learn the process – put a box in a corner or in the closet and involve your kids in deciding what they’ve outgrown – both clothes and toys. I find a box placed strategically the easiest in helping the process of moving things out – whether that is one box or a box per room or per floor. Remember, whatever works for you and helping you keep things moving through.

Organizing – a process not an end point

Sometimes people I know personally are self-conscious about letting me see their spaces – afraid I might critique their systems. Other times, I get requests for ways to tweak and improve on things. Fortunately I love what I do and am happy to talk about ideas and even get hands on.

Recently I was with some family and she was probably a little of both of the above – a little concerned I might critique things and probably more excited at my ideas and help.

Now, let me preface everything else with admitting she does not really need much organizing help. Her spaces are relatively uncluttered and organized. Yet, this is part of my point – just because you have good systems in place doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth analyzing and tweaking. This is the exact thing that is often missing and a struggle for people – it takes work to sit down and look through things are already mostly organized. And this is how clutter can get out of control!

One of the spaces we did some physical hands on work with was on the garage. I took some before pictures – what do you think about how it looks?

Before or after?

The challenge of organization is that it’s never really finished. It’s about creating a system in order to simplify the process as life continues. If we keep adding clothes to our closets and dressers without pulling anything out – we become overwhelmed with all the clothes we’ll need to go through to get organized again. And of course, we need to pull out enough clothes to make up for what we’re adding. This is one of the reasons the idea of “one in, one out” is so popular – it makes the process automatic and simple.

As I’ve said, I dislike absolute rules. They don’t work for everyone. I strongly resist the idea that I would have to get rid of a book or CD every time I brought a new one in, although I’d be OK with getting rid of something else entirely. I think we need to follow guidelines that work for us and that respects what we value.

This means that we need to stay attentive to what is gathering around us. First, we have to notice what our surroundings look like, including the insides of closets and drawers, as well as our basements, attics, and garages. Second, we have to make time to deal with things once we’ve noticed them. Third, are there ways to simplify the process of getting rid of things? My husband and I have a donate bin that we throw things into as we come across them and once it’s full I list the items and get it out of the house.

During my visit, she and I spent a little less than 2 hours working in the garage. By the end, we had created 3 small bags of trash and had about 2 small bags for donating. Many things got moved around – grouping like items together. Now, we did not literally go through every box and bin though we did look inside every one. As I already stated, she was already pretty organized so the boxes and bins were what they looked like.

As you saw, it didn’t need an overhaul, but it did appreciate some refining of things. And although I work with people in much more extreme situations, I also have clients closer to this situation – wanting some help in tweaking the relatively organized stuff already in the space.

Remember, organizing is not an end point – it is the continual process we need to incorporate into our lives.

Treasures from Others

I enjoy trying to share my excess stuff with others – friends first and then to one of the stores. I approach friends and ask, “Is this something you’d like to have?” With one particular friend, let’s call her Joanna; she almost always takes whatever I’ve offered. After a handful of months, I noticed stacked in a corner the sugar and creamer containers Joanna had taken most recently. The last thing I want to do is add to someone else’s clutter.

Stuff from other people comes into our homes – one way or another – from gifts or sharing or inheritance. We all have them – things from those we love that don’t quite fit our personality or style. Sometimes these are the most difficult items to make decisions about. It holds some value in one way or another for us. Is it simply the memory? Is it guilt? Is it a sense of obligation? Or is it something else entirely?

When working with clients, I often ask them after hearing that it’s from someone else, “Do you think this person would want to add to your clutter?”

I know this is the last thing I would want – it turns out I gave a gift to someone who was bothered by part of the design of it, I told them emphatically to pass it along to someone else, PLEASE.

William Morris known partially for his involvement in the Arts and Crafts Movement said “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” If something is not useful or beautiful to you, wherever it came from, is there a reason to keep it?

The last time I visited, I saw it sitting in a corner. On some level it made me sad since they shared how they don’t love it, yet because it was a gift from me, it stays.

Maybe I have too noble expectations of people – that they too would not want to contribute to anyone else’s clutter. It’s hard for me to imagine that anyone would want someone to keep a gift that isn’t adding value to his or her life and space.

We each get to make decisions for our own life – is it worth it to have things around that don’t make you happy? Keep the lovely memory of the gift, the care from the person giving the gift, and let the item itself move into someone else’s life who might treasure it dearly.

Consider Changing Your Routine

I’ve probably said this before; I like routines. It’s soothing for me to have a plan. This doesn’t mean I won’t (or can’t) change my plans; nevertheless I enjoy making rough plans. For years, Thursday and Friday were my prime laundry days. I certainly had to change that for vacations and when the days filled up with other things, yet I would simply choose another more fitting day for that week. When I started taking a class, it made sense to completely change my laundry plan. I decided Tuesday and Wednesday would work better.

The strangest thing happened – at the end of the week I felt tremendously lighter. It was like a load had been lifted (no laundry pun intended!). I was no stricter with myself about being flexible. I was simply less stressed. And I don’t have an explanation. Yet not understanding the logic of this doesn’t make it less true. I feel tremendously better and months later, it holds true.

This is something I would not predict – for myself or anyone else. We all have things we have to accomplish each week and each month. This is true whether we plan for those things or not. I certainly believe that we each have our own way of approaching things – from planning to how we handle our chores.

It can be amazing the effect of making some small alterations to our behaviors. They cannot always be predicted or even predictable. This is one of the reasons I am a fan of trying things out, looking at things like an experiment and seeing what the effects are. Years ago I did this with mowing the lawn. I varied all sorts of factors from the basics of whether I mowed the front or back yard first, to directions and height. This also revealed something rather strange to me – doing the backyard first left me more tired at the end. I see no logic to this, yet it held true over and over. If I had not experimented, I would not know this.

Have you ever noticed a difference in your energy level when you are caught up – when you don’t have tons of things left on your list to do? This is what I think about with the “eat the frog” idea – you do the most important and hardest things first each day. When I apply this, I feel more on top of things – I don’t have them hanging over me, knowing I still need to get to them.

These are some of the ways I notice changes happening around me. And those changes can have profound effects on me. As I’ve talked about before, embrace change – the freedom to play with it in your life can open up doors you didn’t even recognize before. This doesn’t mean you need to regiment your life into routines (who wants that degree of control?), yet experiment and find your own way to be lighter and happier.

Book Review: Making Peace with the Things in Your Life

With the extreme numbers of organizing books available, this book was on my radar, though cannot be sure where it would have landed if it hadn’t been included as part of the coaching program I took. We weren’t required to read the whole thing, just a section – though once I had the book I was reading it. Making Peace with the Things in Your Life: Why Your Papers, Books, Clothes, and Other Possessions Keep Overwhelming You – and What to Do About It by Cindy Glovinsky, M.S.W., A.C.S.W. is quite possibly one of the best books on organizing I’ve read.

This book takes a different approach than many organizing books out there – it’s designed to help you look at the internal stuff that happens around Things in your life. Often when dealing with all the stuff that surrounds us, we target the physical items first and this doesn’t always work well – the stuff keeps returning. Cindy Glovinsky is trained as a psychotherapist and walks the reader through many aspects to explore around the problem with Things. It’s designed to get you ready to use all those other more typical organizing books available.

One of the aspects that I really appreciated was that early on she talks about chaos and order – how “the two interweave in a perpetual, ever-changing dance.” She spends a little time talking about how these are both part of our universe and serve a purpose. Here I go again, my passions – the balance, the self-acceptance, the inevitable changes of life – this is part of life.

You might have noticed that when the word Things appears, it’s always capitalized. This is done throughout the book to draw your attention to it and change your perspective on the stuff around you. Generally I dislike the device of using capitals in such ways, though I found that it did shift my perspective. The word itself is wonderfully vague so it can apply to any of us, with whatever it is that we have. Her language and use of aliens and characters convey her compassion – for others and yourself.

If you want quick and easy answers, this book is not for you. It takes you through the major tasks needed to make lasting change. The book is broken into 4 parts – Part I: assumptions about Things; Part II: systematic inventory of Thing habits and Thing feelings; Part III: possible causes of Thing problems with suggestions for coping with them; Part IV: putting what you’ve learned into action. In the introduction she acknowledges that figuring out what is going on for you with Things is hard work and that it might feel like this is a lot of trouble to go through, yet “[O]nly action informed by insight can lead you out of the circles.”

As with many things – from time management and scheduling to organizing and beyond – there’s a need for the foundation. I look at David Allen’s Getting Things Done (GTD) as foundational work for scheduling and managing time (at least so far in my reading), which means that Franklin Covey might not work for you until you get the basics of GTD. If you struggle with handling your stuff well, Making Peace with Things in Your Life is a great foundation on which to start. Then you might move on to the books dealing with physically handling your stuff and space.

The Balance – of life, stuff, everything

Many years ago I learned about the yin-yang symbol and it immediately resonated with me. The balance of everything. Not that life is as evenly balanced as the symbol, yet the idea that with everything, there is another perspective or aspect that we might not think about or even realize. Initially for me it was that it wasn’t all black or white, that there is a lot of gray – the mix of the black and white. And even if it appeared to be one thing, it didn’t necessarily make it so.

Life is constantly changing, sometimes in large ways, more often in small ways that we might not recognize. We’re shifting sometimes from day to day. I know I will go through phases where a temporary collection of things that are piled up will just about drive me batty, while there’s other times that I can accept that it’s only temporary and also accept that it will get done in time. There’s a great organizing book that talks about this early on, the natural fluctuations that we all go through again and again over our lives – Making Peace with the Things in Your Life (review coming next week).

The extremes of black and white are on a spectrum, if we didn’t have darkness how would we know light. And vice versa. How often do we get caught up in thinking in terms of all or nothing? Consider your language – as this can be a clue, do you say things are always or never…? This is an extreme – how often are things “always” or “never”, if you would pause to play devil’s advocate? That’s probably why it’s called black or white thinking – it’s ignoring or discounting the gray between those two extremes. When we’re really caught up in this, we miss the pieces that would shift us back to the middle ground.

There’s also the idea that within each of these extremes, there is a part of the opposite. Although my understanding is that the symbol isn’t about positive and negative per se, this is part of how I look at this symbol. Even with the most negative experience, there is something positive that you can take away from it. On some level this ties in with what I said above, nothing is truly black or white – these are extremes. From my perspective, there’s always something you can learn from your experiences – if not about yourself, about someone else, or the situation.

I now wear a pair of yin-yang earrings at all times, an expression of my belief that we might not see the whole picture immediately, yet it’s there. This image is my reminder to look deeper, and to not stay in one extreme for too long. I was so fascinated with this idea that when I was searching for a cat to be company for the one I already I had – I picked an all white kitten, a good match for the all black one I already had. They were my yin-yang cats, a reminder that things balance and aren’t always what they appear to be initially.

It’s all about how we look at things. The perspective we take or more importantly how we challenge our perspective, looking for alternatives. And there is a balance to life – even if it doesn’t appear to be true at the moment.

Racing – Time & Energy

How does having lots of to-dos make you feel? The answer might vary depending on many different circumstances. There is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when we have lots of things pressing on our time and still manage to get it all done. It can certainly make you feel alive, your heart is racing, and you can look around and see all that you accomplished. There is a time and a place for using this energy.

Unfortunately, if this is how you primarily function, your super productive moments might be far and few between, if you do not have that external pressure to get it all done, it is easy to struggle. This also assumes that you can turn on those super productive times when you want or need them.

There are times when I race around the house, full of energy, getting things accomplished. My husband will talk to me, but I often hardly hear him, my brain is working so fast it’s like I can’t slow down to speak. That feeling is wonderful – the energy coursing through me in combination with all the things that I can get done.

Yet, there are consequences to this energy. Your focus is often not directed when you’re racing around. The tasks you work on are frequently the easiest and you ignore the pieces that require more attention or are more challenging to accomplish. If you continue to avoid those tasks that take more time, they won’t get done.

This can look like ADD/ADHD – the attention and energy, although it’s not limited to this situation – this racing energy can affect us all. You might discover this energy regardless of the length of your to-do list. Early on when I became a professional organizer, I would come home from working with people, I would be filled with this energy. I enjoyed using it to get things accomplished.

Sometimes though there are consequences to using this energy. I would occasionally wear myself out racing around; I wasn’t paying attention to my real energy level. Other times, after I had settled down I would look around and see obvious tasks I’d missed. I’ve seen some people struggle with the energy as things actually get messier by the time they’ve finished.

Consider how that energy works or doesn’t work for you. If you understand the effect of your racing energy, you can then use it to benefit yourself and your tasks.

Your Needs and Values

It’s interesting how these words keep coming into my life. A friend shared an article about living a values focused life and in the coaching program I’m in, we’ve talked about values and needs – both for ourselves as well as for our clients. Each student was given slips of paper with words on them and we chose 3-4 words (some say values are 6-10) to identify our values and then again for our needs.

We all know that “needs” are things we can’t live without, yet in some ways it’s more than that. These are also our personal principles and priorities – the things we need to make sure life is working for us. These are the values and desires of what matters most to us and they help to create a meaningful life. As you will see, this is also beyond the basic elements to keep us alive, things that we all need, and is more about personally what our individual needs are – those things that if we didn’t have, there would be a hole.

These are 4 that I’ve identified for my needs: introspection, nature, connection, and self-worth.

What are your needs?

Then we look at our values. These are things that are your personal qualities or passions. What is important as you live each day? What is integral to who you are at your core? This is a reflection of what matters as you live your life and who you really are. These are often things that we cherish both in ourselves as well as others, when someone else shares or expresses the same value.

These are 5 that I’ve identified for my values: accountability (self), honesty, creativity, tolerance, and knowledge.

What are your values?

If your needs are not getting met, it can be a challenge to lead that a life that is fulfilling and meaningful for yourself. These are things that you make sure are part of your life – and the first step to living a life that works for you. Once you identify your needs, you can then integrate them into your life.

Once you are getting your needs met, you then need to focus on your values. Our values are shaped by all of our cumulative life experiences and are our compass for directing our choices.

In general terms, when we try to develop new habits and make changes to our life, it can be challenging. We might know what we need to do to get where we want to go – yet that doesn’t mean it just happens. How do your goals relate to your needs and values? When we set goals and make decisions based on our values, it’s more satisfying to accomplish them.

You are more than your job, your home, your clutter, your procrastination, your health, etcetera. Who are you down at your core? These are the pieces to remember as life happens – your needs and values.

Keeping Your Car Organized

From the time I started driving for quite a while longer my car collected various things. Eventually I would spend some time just getting it emptied out once it got bad enough. Then there came a time that the car would still get a little cluttered, yet it never required hours of work to get it cleaned up. It’s easy for our cars to collect things – we’re in and out of them regularly.

As with so much with getting and staying organized, how we handle our cars depends on how you want to do it. If you are one of the people whose cars collects things and then you eventually set aside some time to deal with – and don’t want to change that – no problem. You choose how you want to handle your space and things.

Then, there some steps you can take to handle it differently. You don’t even need to begin the following steps with a clean car; you can begin these from however your car is right now. We are in and out of our cars often, and there’s things we can do with our efforts to keep our cars organized.

Most of us completely empty the cars of our groceries after shopping. If we use this philosophy with everything else, we can maintain our car. Each time you get out of your car, you take a load to where it needs to go. You can take just one load even, and if you do that regularly, your car will rarely collect much clutter. If you have trash – you grab as much as you can and drop it in the nearest receptacle each time you get out of your car. If you are heading into a store, there are usually trashcans by the front door – use those.

Sometimes getting gas can feel like a chore. This is another great time to spend a little time emptying stuff from the car. There’s usually a trashcan right by the gas pump, and you’d be amazed by how much you can get done just while your car is getting filled up. If you tend to procrastinate getting gas, try to curb that and work at getting gas on your way home since you’re likely to feel less rushed. It might also lessen any resistance you feel toward using that time to clear out the trash. You can also gather the other things that need to go into the house while the gas tank is getting filled – make it easier to grab the things when you head inside.

I’ve used different techniques over the years for trying to keep the car organized. For a while I kept plastic bags in the car for collecting trash and recycling and when those got full would take them out. I discovered that I would procrastinate emptying them though until they were overflowing. I now keep a reusable bag in case I need it, though I’ve not used it yet.

The habit of each time I left the car I would take at least one load to its place has been the easiest for me. My procrastination habits interfere the least with this. It also never feels like a chore… well, almost never. 🙂 In my case, it’s also now minor stuff and not something I have to do each time – just when I have something for the trash or recycling.

For the various things that I want to keep in the car, and it’s gotten less over the years – I tend to look for ways to contain them. Before containers, the stuff would slide all around and look messier than it was. When you’re driving kids around, it can be even more of a challenge. I encourage you to enlist the children to help, they can return things to where they belong and even help carry things into the house.

As with probably everything about organizing – it requires some discipline and developing habits. How do you want things to be? It doesn’t have to require lots of time or energy, though it might in the beginning. Once you’ve established your routines, it can become easy. Decide for yourself how you want your car to look and take steps to get it there and then keep it there.