The Slippery Slope and You

From what I can tell, the idea of the slippery slope is well known in some arenas and unfamiliar in others. I roughly remember when one of my library science classes presented the idea of a slippery slope and it stuck with me – as they talked about school libraries removing books – like Mark Twain. Removing one book could become a slippery slope for people to then challenge any number of other books included in the school library collection. And not only the possible challenges, also the predicament of how to decide and where to draw the line – how easily you can find yourself sliding down the slope after a few missteps.

This idea – as I learned about it – was about being aware of the small things, and if you ignored the accumulation of small changes you could find yourself down that slippery slope. Imagine yourself on a literal slippery slope – the effort required to go up compared to down. It becomes simplest to let yourself slide to the bottom, although it’s certainly not the only outcome – and if you pay attention to things, you can avoid getting too far down the slope.

The slippery slope is also – apparently – known as logical fallacy where essentially the idea suggests that one step will lead to a cascading of bad decisions and undesired results – the domino effect. Some people suggested it was not a logical fallacy when a middle ground was recognized – does that one misstep would land you at the bottom of the hill or that there were many missteps before you might find yourself muddy at the base.

Yet, what does this have to do with organizing or systems and habits?

The slippery slope can also be a part of systems breaking down and if we ignore or avoid dealing with that we can find ourselves staring back up at the place we used to be. And if I haven’t said if recently, systems do break down, and what once was a great approach has become a problem. If you suspect your once working system is becoming less functional -the first step is to evaluate what parts are still working well and looking for which aspects have become problematic. This gives you some time to see if the issues persist before you take any action. Meanwhile, your awareness and evaluation will prevent you from any more movement in that slippery slope.

When we close our eyes to a growing stack of mail, newspapers, and magazines – it can overtake our surfaces surprisingly quickly. So, when we’re facing challenges, maintaining our systems and organization can take a backseat. Sometimes this leads to suddenly finding yourself surrounded by accumulated stuff – at the bottom of the slippery slope and out of practice.

The slippery slope can sneak up us – for perfectly good reasons just as much as once we’ve taken a series of missteps, it can become easier to make excuses or justify our future missteps. If you look at the recent past of this blog, you will see inconsistencies – which is in strong contrast to over 4 years of regularity. There was no intention of it becoming a pattern, yet as I struggled to finish a blog (there’s more partly written pieces than I’ve ever had at a given moment), it was easier to justify another missed date.

Whatever it is that starts us on the path down that slippery slope, all too often we can find ourselves already there before we recognize our missteps. Then, if things are such that correcting our habits isn’t a high enough priority we fall even more out of practice – potentially adding to the challenge of reestablishing positive and supportive habits.

When you find yourself muddy, bruised, and embarrassed at the bottom of the slippery slope you encountered it might help to know a couple of things:

The slippery slope can sneak up on any of us, and likely we all will end up at the bottom more than once in our lifetime.
It didn’t really ‘sneak’ up; we took any number of missteps to land at the bottom.
Getting yourself back to the top – not even attempting to climb up the slope you slid down – yet still finding your way back to helpful habits will take time and effort.
The journey and the path back to the top might end up being a completely new experience. We’re shifting and changing all the time so the approach you need to take might be dramatically different than how you handled things before. You have learned things since your last arrival to the top.

This idea of a slippery slope offers an image of what’s happened that also reinforces that reclaiming helpful habits isn’t going to be automatic, we get to find our way back to the top. You probably cannot predict how long it will take or what you will find on your journey – there’s a chance it might even seem completely foreign to you. Yet, you have something to conceptualize the process and hopefully that can help you avoid self-recriminations ~ which won’t be of any benefit as you set out on your journey back to the top! Thinking about the slippery slope can also help you to be aware it exists, and then you can try to avoid too many missteps; if we can recognize our entering ”dangerous” ground, we can then take action to prevent any additional slipping.

So, what do think about this slippery slope idea? Does it seem like a logical fallacy? I have a fascination on logical fallacies, so it’s probable there will be a post on it one of these days!

Bursts of Organizing

Plenty of people approach organizing projects with the mindset that setting aside a big chunk of time is the way to go. This can be the stereotypical idea of not starting to clean out the garage or basement until you have a weekend to dedicate to working on it. Maybe it’s even a reason to procrastinate, “Oh, I don’t have enough time to work on this – look at my weekends, they each have things that are more important.”

It can also be the internal “shoulds” of having the time to spend on organizing projects – “I should be spending at least 6 hours a day organizing my stuff, I don’t have that much else to do…”

First, one of the ways we all end up with too much stuff is that we haven’t embraced the process of purging as part of our life. When purging happens only when you’ve found an available weekend to clean out the garage (or wherever) – the stuff will pile up again. Is this how you want things to function going forward? I’d encourage you to incorporate the purging and hence the organizing process into your life in order to avoid a weekend of cleaning out any space.

Organizing is never truly finished; rather it’s part of life. Even when you’re attentive to getting things out, stuff can accumulate. Have I shared how my husband and I found 3 sets of mixing bowls in our cupboards a couple years ago? 3 sets! Somehow things slip through, or multiply behind our backs – and I had no idea there were 3 sets using up our valuable cupboard space (even a couple years later I’m confounded by it!).

Second, when you’re tackling a space over a weekend, you could be heading yourself into a state of overwhelm. Getting overwhelmed has potential consequences – serious ones even! In your goal of cleaning out the garage, you might reach the state of being overwhelmed as everything is strewn about for sorting – and when walking away is not a feasible option. When it might be possible to walk away, the stuff is there, now less contained and probably gnawing at you to get back to it.

You might get through everything and then find yourself resistant to any other projects that involve sorting and purging – it becomes overwhelming to consider another big project. What people often discount about any organizing – whatever the size – is how much energy it can take. If you’re working alone, physical energy is probably required. Yet, I’m talking about mental energy – the decisions required for every item. Often each item is more than 1 decision – since once you’ve decided to keep it – the first decision, where are you going to keep it? What other items do you have like it? How will you know where and how to find it when you need it? And any number of other decisions for each and every item. This can be extremely draining – and please don’t discount how much or how normal!

No matter what the size of the project – whether you want to get the whole house organized or just that linen closet – it can be done in small steps. The basement can be approached in small chunks of time rather than waiting for a whole weekend. When you break things down – whatever the size – you want to make sure you keep the things you’ve sorted distinct from the things you have yet to sort. It can also help to keep things tidy – it’s common for things to get more chaotic before they get better – so containing the stuff in order to keep things and spaces accessible as well as avoid being overwhelmed just by entering.

If it’s not obvious, I don’t recommend the weekend room tackle! There are more reasons I find it counterproductive, though I’ve certainly met and worked with people who take this approach. As long as it works for them, that’s what matters; though I expect they are still in the minority. Regardless, when you’re working in a space, sorting, organizing, and purging it needs your attention. So, in the other extreme, I would be cautious about starting an organizing project when you might have to run out of the house in 5 minutes – unless you have a plan! Bursts of organizing can be any amount of time – theoretically – you get to decide for yourself. What amount of time works well for you?

Consciously Incompetent?

I don’t remember when or where I first heard about the learning model where being consciously incompetent is one of the four stages. In some ways it surprises me how many people have not heard of the four stages of competence and then after they’ve learned about it – how excited they are by the ideas in it. Even a refresher on the ideas can be revitalizing – the model is a reminder that learning is a process. Some of us can fall into making critical judgments about ourselves and that is dismissive of how our mistakes are critical to the process – it’s a way to learn and become unconsciously competent – where we have mastered the skill and knowledge we wanted.

The first stage is unconscious incompetence. When you don’t know what you don’t know you’re in this stage. It could be that you recognize a skill in someone else, yet are dismissive of the usefulness of it. In order to move onto the next stage, you must recognize – become conscious – of both your own lack of skill and the value of learning it.

From there, you move into conscious incompetence, the second stage. You’re aware of the deficits and have little knowledge or skill yet. This is a time when you’re likely to make lots of mistakes – and making those mistakes can be important to moving through this stage. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn – as trite as that might sound! Another way to consider this is how part of what you’re doing in this stage is practicing. We’ve all heard how “practice makes perfect” (though please don’t actually try to be perfect). What we’re working on in this stage is becoming competent.

The third stage is conscious competence. You have gained the knowledge and skill though you have to think about it and probably need to concentrate in order to execute it. You might need to have all the steps broken down or have more detailed processes at this point in your learning. You are still making mistakes in this stage, though they are on the decline. The effort to demonstrate the skills can be time and energy consuming – more than what’ll be needed in the last stage.

Unconscious competence is the last of the learning stages. This is where you have mastered the skill to the point that you no longer need to concentrate to make sure it’s done correctly. Mistakes are few and far between. When you’re at this stage, you have the skills and knowledge to teach others.

As you can see, learning something new takes time as you move through these stages – and only when you’ve reached the final stage are mistakes negligible. How realistic is it to think that you can gain the skills without a learning curve? Heck, how perfect are you trying to be? The time it takes each of us to move from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence is unique to us.

Once you know about these stages you can consider where you are in the process. Despite the fact that many people seem to believe that organizing should be simple and easy – doesn’t make it so for everyone. Let me clear, organizing is a skill like anything else – it is something anyone can learn. It’s also not knowledge we’re automatically born with – we learn it just like driving a car or anything else. Organizing is something that can have many variables – many opinions about the way to do it (or the best way). This means you have that much more to learn – more time in the middle stages before you reach the unconscious competence stage.

Therefore consider whatever it is you’re trying to develop the skills and knowledge about – what is the complexity level? Where are you in the stages of learning? To some extent, our lives are a constant state of learning – at least it can be. Therefore, if we consider the stages of learning in combination with how we can continue to learn – we have a way to gain perspective. Each and every one of us goes through all four stages – no one is exempt.

The Four Stages of Learning

Unconscious Incompetence
Conscious Incompetence
Conscious Competence
Unconscious Competence

Setting goals for yourself and trying to create new habits could be considered you learning through these same stages – how to move from resistance, to planning, to action and practice, and each step that will take you to the final goal of it becoming a routine that requires little thought. What do you think – do you see a connection between the stages of learning and your desire to make changes in your life?

Ch- ch-cha-changes

Changes are inevitable – both the positive ones as well as the ones that challenge us. How’s that for stating the obvious? Sometimes we know the changes are coming – we change jobs or move. Other times changes happen suddenly – an accident or event that is unexpected. Some changes are quick while others can be indefinite, as with health issues. There are changes that span the spectrum as far as their impact – from relatively minor changes to ones that turn our lives upside down.

If only this was the complete break down for changes – except that each change we encounter can be different and affect us uniquely. The way we experience changes can be just as unpredictable as the changes that happen in our life. And there’s also the way that we personally handle changes – some people react with grace and flexibility while others can get flustered and struggle. We can also move between these, as this too is a continuum. It’s not as simple as only reacting with ease, as it takes time and energy to adjust, so we cycle through feelings.

How do you react to changes? What kinds of changes do you simply roll with the flow versus changes that provide a greater challenge to handle? When we know our strengths and our weaknesses, we can then consider how to do our best in reacting to the changes.

Consider the person who struggles with sudden changes – short notice changes – bringing up anxiety or stress. They know life can throw curve balls, where plans can go awry, and they don’t want to react so strongly. Working to accept the abrupt changes with more serenity is great. It’s also not the only approach, as you recognize your own reactions. Recently I had a client share that she doesn’t handle sudden changes well – and by sharing that she was helping both of us. Not only would I understand if she faced this situation while I was there, I can now do what I can to minimize any surprises.

What do you tell yourself about how you deal with changes in your life? When we’re successful, we can dismiss the process we went through in adjusting to the changes or we can appreciate our strength and grace in dealing with the changes. On the other hand, the changes that are more challenging can elicit self-criticism. Our struggles can become evidence of our “failures” in life rather than simply a more complex situation that’s pushing us to adapt. We’re all more prone to identify the bumps we experienced over the areas where we succeeded.

Is there ever a time to be critical of yourself – about how you weren’t perfect?

it was a “tiny” change
it was a change you knew about in advance?
- and even planned for adjusting to this known change
it was a change you wanted and acted to bring about

How does it serve you to be critical? Does it help you to cope more successfully for the future changes? I’d imagine that it mostly deflates the flexibility and grace you do have and undermines your self-confidence. And this isn’t to say that the self-critical-ness isn’t going to still pop up– it’s not as easy as flipping a switch to turn it off. It is about what you do when that voice gets loud. If you can recognize it as your interpretation – your perception – and you might be biased; you can start to lighten up on yourself.

Tackling organizing projects are changes you’re working to bring about – it’s your choosing – and that doesn’t automatically make it smooth and easy. It can seem like it’s so small in the grand scheme of things – and yet that doesn’t mean it won’t bring challenges – even in the midst of the lightening and successes. Therefore, consider things going on in your life – are there changes you’re adjusting to – even without thinking about it in that way? Please allow yourself to be right where you are in your own ch-ch-cha-changes!

Goals, SMART Criteria, and You

I’ve talked before about goals – whether that’s the traditional New Year’s Resolution(s) or more generally setting goals for our life. We all know that what makes this most likely to succeed – setting SMART goals – and yet we don’t always follow this mnemonic when the New Year is here and we choose what we want to be different this year. And aren’t there always things we want to be different this year – the resolution of a past struggle or success at some new endeavor? Then what’s stopping us from using the SMART mnemonic as we set our sights on how things can be different, even better?

Quickly, here are the SMART criteria:

Specific – be specific about what you want to change/improve, answer (usually) each of the 5 W’s (what, why, where, who, and which)
Measurable – what are you going to measure and how to know you’ve accomplished your goal (i.e. weight lost or time walking a mile etc.)
Attainable (and realistic) – how can the goal be reached?
Relevant – the goal matters and the timing works
Time-bound – answers “when?”; sometimes an end date, though might be first milestone where you can feel successful along the path to creating routines

First, as I’ve said before, is this a good time for you to be setting goals? Simply because this is the time of year when we’ve been taught to set resolutions, with the calendar moving into a new year, does not automatically mean this is a good time for you to be embarking on making changes. Can you ignore the social conventions of setting a goal and just say no? The R in SMART is “relevant” and sometimes that means recognizing that this is not the time for you to set any goals. The flow and events of our lives aren’t necessarily going to follow any calendar events – therefore, consider whether there is a more realistic (or “attainable”) time for you to set goals. For example:

work slows down in the summer and I won’t feel so overwhelmed
2 of the 5 big time-consuming things I’m juggling right now need to be dealt with before I will even have the time or focus to contemplate other changes
I’m more motivated in the spring with life springing up around me

Simply because the timing doesn’t work for you does not mean you are procrastinating or making excuses – really.

Second, if you know the principles of using the SMART mnemonic, do you use it? What gets in your way for working through the SMART goal steps? There are any number of reasons we might avoid working with these criteria, yet finding our own resistances can help us find our way through to making successful changes.

As we all things we do and want to change, we go through an ebb and flow, where our motivation and focus fluctuates. And it’s not always clear to us where in the process we exactly are – from being realistic to easily discouraged to highly dedicated – to the goals we have. I know that my goal from years ago of losing weight, which I share in Consider Setting Resolutions – or Not, that I wasn’t always aware of the stage I was currently in. The “goal” of losing weight was consistently there, it felt like a priority most of the time, and despite these pieces, it wasn’t enough. I’m not sure I can clearly identify what was missing early on and have the perspective now that we each simply have to find our own path.

I was certainly resistant to using the SMART mnemonic early in my goal of losing weight, so now when I see myself avoiding applying the SMART steps I take a step back and consider if there is some issue with the goal. It often becomes clear that there is a conflict between my goal and the SMART steps. Emotionally I’m trying to ignore that – after all, I really want to change this; “I don’t want to wait…”

Using the SMART criteria means that we take time to work our goal through each step. The idea of taking time for each of the SMART steps can feel daunting – after all time is a precious commodity – and who doesn’t wish “if only it were simpler…” I’ve been known to make occasional comments about wishing I had a magic wand – and how I’d share it. Yet, there’s no magic wand and the time we spend on these SMART criteria will only support us in reaching our goals. It’s also important to be focused during the process – to identify the pieces for each step of the SMART criteria and that all of them are feasible, i.e. just because a single working mom wants to get to the gym 5 days a week doesn’t mean it’s realistic for her schedule and the demands on her time.

When we use the SMART criteria, we’re claiming the intention for change clearly. The evidence of our commitment is laid out with all the steps and pieces we’ll need to be successful. Even though I feel like a broken record, I’ll say again – there is no need to feel obligated to set resolutions at this time of year or any time of year, find the timing that works for you.

Planning with Fractals in Mind – Review, Sort of

I always appreciate discovering lesser-known things – yes, always, at least when it comes to organizing, time management, productivity, and other things that fascinate me. I wish I could remember how I come across some of them, as is the case with the e-book “Clear Mind, Effective Action” by Jim Stone where he talks about his Fractal Planning system. Are you already rolling your eyes or afraid to read more? Talking about fractals and planning systems might sound intimidating or like a non sequitur, yet this is the type of thing I’ve encouraged all of you to do – at least to some degree – use what works from the systems around us and then find ways to adjust for the parts that don’t work as well.

Therefore, let’s talk about his approach, fractals and all. What do you think of when you hear the term fractals? The way he envisions fractals is as “a rough or fragmented geometric shape that can be split into parts, each of which is (at least approximately) a reduced-sized copy of the whole” which he says is how Wikipedia (at the time of writing) defines it. What is critical about fractals in his view is that they surround us and “creative productivity (like most business projects) grew via fractal processes” so a successful planning tool would incorporate fractal awareness into it.

He offers several different ways to envision fractals around us. One of those is a tree, where you take a main branch off a tree and it looks like a smaller tree. If we continue, taking a branch (he refers to this as a sub-branch) off this other (main) branch, this also looks like an even smaller tree. And so on. Sometimes there are some random variations at each step, as with this example of a tree, yet remains an example of a fractal.

$Tree as an example of a fractal we see and take for granted$

Tree as an example of a fractal we see and take for granted

Part of what that means is the versatility for breaking things down into ever and ever smaller parts – the splitting (or fracturing) mentioned above that is still a smaller representation of the bigger picture. Yet, fractal can also be seen as a way to build things up through the branching process. This can be seen with the Koch Snowflake (animated to see the process in one direction) – where you can see how both breaking down as well as building up applies.

Isn’t this what we need when we’re planning our tasks and priorities – the flexibility to approach things from any direction? Sometimes we’re stuck in the forest, unable to see the trees when we’re trying to plan. Other times all we can see are the trees – or to put it another way – we’re busy thinking in the big or small picture view and struggle with aspects that go beyond that view. Or maybe we’re just not clear – it’s somewhere between the two extremes – yet wherever we might be, it’s important to have a planning tool that will support us as we capture our thoughts. And then we can take that planning as far as we need to for maximizing our productivity and minimizing our stress – fractal like in either breaking the steps down or building our plans up.

$Von Koch Curve showing the fractal nature$

Von Koch Curve showing the fractal nature

Essentially the idea of fractal planning comes down to the idea that being aware of the fractal nature – of our plans, our goals, our entire lives – will help us as we’ll work better, becoming more efficient and effective while our stress will decrease. As Jim Stone says, “”If you set it up right, with a planning tool that allows you to break down projects to any level of detail, your plans will just grow naturally from your brain‘s innate desire to break tasks down as you go. That‘s what fractal awareness does for you. It helps you see that your whole life can be represented in the same plan, and you can trust it to grow organically, just like a tree grows (because that‘s how plans grow, too). And don‘t worry. There is no ―right way to break down your life plan or your projects and sub-projects.”

I love the optimism of this – while the skeptic in me wonders how realistic this is for everyone. Oops, even I can slip into the temptation of 1 solution for all of us. This is simply an example of one person’s solution to planning and productivity challenges that were not solved from another system out there (David Allen’s Getting Things Done are evident in places). His approach also assumes you are 1) comfortable with technology and 2) that you sit at a desk the majority of the time – where it’s easy and convenient to be interacting with your list. [Please note that I have no data on his paid online system – and am considering writing another piece that discusses some of the issues I see with this system; this post is about the ideas in his e-book.] Nevertheless, the idea of fractal awareness shifting how we view things intrigues me – without needing to adopt any other piece of his system. Are there any ideas that capture your interest?

Giving Thanks

This is the time of year when we tend to think about being grateful – at least if you’re not already practicing gratitude regularly. After all tomorrow is Thanksgiving – a day we often associate with sharing the things we’re grateful for – before digging into the feast. Yet, it seems as a society we’re thinking more and more about gratitude – and the value gratitude has on our own lives. How often do you take time to consider what you are grateful for?

It can be all too easy to downplay and dismiss the value of expressing your gratitude – after all you’re busy and the things going right don’t require your attention, either in remembering or for problem solving. One day is enough, isn’t it, for sharing the things you’re grateful for?

Although we certainly don’t want to forget those things in life that need further attention from us, there is value in remembering all the things that went right, that there were things that we can be grateful for. Human nature is to focus on the negative, yet this just reinforces the ruts in our brain that can limit our thinking and perspective.

Earlier this year at the ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization) conference, one of the speakers talked to all of us about “Living Stress Free.” Lots of things can contribute to our stress level and the way they interact then has a further impact. Therefore, we can reverse the path to stress with some practice and tools. And you probably guessed it – one of those tools is expressing gratitude.

His recommendation was at the end of every week to count your blessing with these 2 steps: 1) recall 3 things from the prior week for which you are grateful and 2) acknowledge 3 things in your life (not time constrained, but overall) for which you feel blessed. He went on to share that research suggests that this practice translates into people with less depression and stress and that they are more likely to make progress on important personal goals.

New to me was that there is some evidence that counting your blessings once a week is more beneficial than doing it every day. I found contradictory information on this in my research – and overall that there is no consensus yet about the frequency. There seems to be no debate about the value of being grateful – of making a practice of it – as long as you don’t get so habituated to it. Consider the feelings that accompany being grateful – those are part of what benefits the brain.

Sometimes it can be challenging to find things that you are grateful for – whether you’re experiencing depression, a series of tough life events, or whatever else it might be that interferes with identifying the blessings in your life. Every organizing client that I’ve had has had areas where they are successful – though they don’t always recognize it. Search out the parts you are succeeding with – I insist there are some! 😉

Due to my worldview, the obstacles and struggles I’ve faced in my life are blessings – they helped me learn and grow. So even in the midst of a struggle, I can be grateful. That doesn’t mean I’m not frustrated or challenged, simply that I have confidence that it will in the long run be a blessing for my life.

Similarly, you can feel gratitude for the goals and desires you have. Where would you be without those? If you’re dealing with a cluttered living space and desire more order – can you acknowledge the strength and blessing of wanting it to change? This focuses on the positive – which will support us in moving forward.

We’ve probably all heard that “Thanksgiving was never meant to be limited to one day.” When we make a habit of gratitude we shift things for ourselves – we’re more resilient, more realistic about our self-worth (rather than pessimistic), and it helps us live mindfully in the present moment. With my approach of experimenting – if you find yourself resistant to the idea of making a practice of gratitude in your life, test it out. Commit to 2 weeks and just do it – and then observe – how do you feel? Has anything changed? In what ways?

Our Feelings & Our Organizing

I recently talked about how our minds are the most important tool for our organizing efforts in Our Minds & Our Organizing – how when we use it clearly we can figure out the solutions for our unique situation. And of course our mind handles more than the logical data in our lives – it’s processing our emotions. Our thoughts and feelings interact and intermingle influencing our actions and behaviors and when we improve our awareness then our choices will support our life and goals.

The feelings we have can inspire us to make changes – “this space feels cluttered,” “I’m so frustrated at how I’m managing my time,” and “I get so anxious when I have to deal with paperwork.” As we recognize the feelings we’re having, we can then start the process of finding a way to change things and feel better – at least ideally.

Those same feelings can prompt avoidance and discouragement – where we cannot conceive that there is hope for things to be any different – hopeless, another feeling. It can be challenging to withstand the influence of our feelings – shirking tasks we feel we’re not good at or can’t succeed with, procrastinating things since “what’s the point?” and giving ourselves all sorts of messages that support reasons that we cannot change things. Yet if you examined those things logically, without the negative beliefs, would the evidence show your “complete incompetence” or just that you are not perfect and might need support, skills building, or practice?

These feelings can also trigger action to resolve the annoyance quickly – more of a reaction to your feelings. Just like when interacting with people and someone blindsides you – it can be hard not to just react (whatever that looks like for you: snapping, yelling, apologizing, withdrawing) and realize later how things could have been handled better. Similarly with our organizing, it can be easy to react to our organizing and tasks annoyances with our emotions. Therefore, do we jump in and do anything to relieve the discomfort? Or do we take some time to consider how to move things forward and make sure we’re not making more work or more complications for ourselves down the road? If we’re busy reacting to our feelings of unhappiness, without evaluating our approach with the logic our mind can offer – it could be counter-productive.

We can draw an analogy to a typical junk drawer – it can be easy to just drop in all the random things we don’t or can’t deal with right now and it becomes the jumble where it’s hard to find anything. The thing about a junk drawer is that it’s small and so what goes in and how much it can hold limits the degree of chaos you’ll have to deal with eventually. Yet when we’re plagued with the need to fix that thing that’s bugging us, it’s often not as small and limited as a junk drawer. That’s when the temptation to throw everything into the closet or a bin/bag/box, or rent a storage locker can lure us into thinking this is the best option. And it might be the best option – the key is to consider your motivation, the logic of doing it, and then approach the stuff in a way that will minimize frustration and maximize getting your goals accomplished.

You can see that our emotions can have a tremendous effect on our efforts – whatever those efforts might be – both in a positive as well as a detrimental way. These feelings can drive us – hurrying us to get through them – after all, when emotions are uncomfortable, why would anyone want to hang out with those unpleasant feelings? It can be tricky to distinguish between our thoughts and feelings since there is such interplay between them. Yet when we examine things from a logical point of view – looking for the evidence that supports and rejects our ideas – we can make the most of our emotions for inspiring change. Ideally we’re using both our minds and feelings to develop the systems that will help us simplify and accomplish what we want.

What Do You Identify With?

How do you see yourself? We all have this idea of who we are – what our strengths are and the things that define us. And then there’s what other people think of us – how they see us. Often these are based on the plethora of labels available for defining things – a way to characterize all the things in this world. Yet, do these things end up encompassing who we are – who any one is?

It is easy to look at things with the idea that it’s an either-or option – especially when we look at others. This person is depressed or they’re not. This person is a hoarder or they’re not. This person is an introvert whereas that person is an extravert. This person has ADHD or they don’t. This person is punctual and that person is always late.

All this is not to say that we don’t or can’t fall into these characteristics in one direction, rather that it’s a limited way to view people. I was sharing with a client that there are things I hoard – where I struggle to let go of certain things. Her reply was that couldn’t be true, I was a professional organizer after all. Yet, even as a professional organizer, my home has plenty of unnecessary things – I can be organized as well as cluttered. People are rarely (if ever) so easily captured with labels – our personality and character are more complex than can be described simply.

While on the other hand, these labels can also help us. When someone shares that they’re depressed, ADHD, introverted, or whatever, it gives other people some idea about them. They’ll likely be more understanding when behaviors come up – ah, that apathy/distraction/withdrawal/etc. could be from that.

I’ve had a number of client that have described themselves as hoarders, or been told by others that they are hoarders. None of the people I’ve worked with would truly qualify for the diagnostic criteria of hoarding, though they might struggle with parts within the hoarding definition. And I talk to them about it – they are identifying with a label that doesn’t truly apply to them. One of them shared that it helped her to use the term; she felt that it finally offered a frame of reference for her challenges – a starting point to understanding what they are struggling with.

Most of the “hoarders” I work with recognized that using that label limited them – the negativity confining and draining them. This is where the application of these defining terms can be damaging and hurtful and can apply to any description. The way we use the labels, whether self-applied or given from others, – and what they mean to us personally – can have a significant impact on how we approach things.

Do the labels help you – give you a frame of reference for understanding, find it empowering to find a way through, or permission to set better boundaries and get more realistic? Or do they end up hurting you – confining you by their definition, discouraging you – taking away hope, or do you seize the idea and limit yourself – “since I’m “x”, I can’t…”

Even our more defining characteristics shift and change – vary in the short term. People who tend to be adamantly punctual will run late and vice versa. In working with people about their stuff – some of them tend toward ruthlessly purging stuff and just want to get all of it out and then we’ll run into times where making a decision has become excruciating. Then in the opposite – people who struggle to make decisions will have times when it’s easy. And this isn’t necessarily a random day – rather a series of them or “regularly” at some other (often unknown) interval. Just another reason it’s hard to capture a person with labels.

People are complex – aren’t you more complex than can be captured with descriptive words? We’re made up of many experiences and characteristics and really we tend to defy being categorized. There are so many factors that influence us – from those life experiences to the degree of recent self-care (ever notice the impact the amount of sleep can have on your behavior?). Consider the labels – each one independently of the others – that you apply to yourself – do they support or limit you? How can you challenge them – are they truly accurate or accurate at certain times? Reducing and eliminating the labels that confine you can open up a world of possibilities – we all need hope to move forward with our goals and dreams.

Our Minds & Our Organizing

I think we are all doing more – we have more to track and stay on top of – than in past generations. I don’t claim to know whether we’re saying ‘yes’ to more things or if there’s more to do. Whatever the reason, it can mean that it’s easier to get overwhelmed and for things to simply not get done. I could probably write a whole post about saying ‘no’ to things – even those that we put on ourselves – yet this isn’t what this entry is about. When we have what feels like endless things we need to track and accomplish, organizing can be one of those pieces that feels less important. Although if we know where things are and where they go, we can be more successful with all the other things we’re trying to handle.

When you decide organizing is important and will benefit you – it doesn’t happen magically. (If only it was that simple! :)) The way we think and process interacts with our organizing efforts – in all ways, the decisions we make in choosing what, where, why, and how we put our things and then both in creating new systems as well as in maintaining what you’ve set up. Our minds are critical to the process – and they can fool us. How so, you ask?

Have you noticed that you can set aside the time, energy, and focus for organizing and then after you’ve done all the work realized that it’s not as logical as you’d thought? I’m not sure how many people see this – that the way we think can end up creating some additional challenges to our efforts.

First, there’s more than one “logical” system we could create for ourselves considering the way we work. If you’ve ever tried to categorize things, you’ve probably encountered those items that fit in more than one place and then have to choose one – and then, most importantly, remember which place you chose – and all at some unknown future point. Filing is an example of specific example – what to call this or that file and then finding where you decided to put those specific papers. Sometimes the fact that things can be misplaced even with thoughtful and logical decisions can be upsetting for people – potentially to the point of avoiding making decisions on systems.

One way to help you track your systems is to make a list or a map – keep it relatively simple. I have a list of each file name and which drawer it’s in and then one of those files has lists of the boxes in storage and what the rough contents are so if I need to find a specific thing I can reference my file and go directly to the box it’s in. I recently made a map of a dresser for a client – where each box, labeled with a short description of the contents (mostly 1-3 words), represents a drawer in the dresser. Whatever you can do to help your mind focus on the things that really matter is what’s important.

example of a map for the contents of a dresser

An example of a “map” to identify where things are stored

Second, we might be impatient to find our solutions. The level of frustration at how chaotic things feel – whether that’s searching for things or how many things we’re dealing with – can tempt us into rushing into setting up something – anything. And then we change our minds – and set up something else. Maybe we do this over and over and over again – and avoid sticking with any one system long enough to find out how it does help us. Just because something doesn’t work immediately does not translate into its being useless. It’s too easy to discount the importance of our habits – that it takes time, energy, and most importantly effort to shift them. Do you remember the process of learning to ride a bike? It took time and practice. Therefore, make a decision – hopefully thought out – and stick with it for a while, working on being consistent with it.

In our search for answers – the way to make things easier – the thought of spending time thinking can be objectionable. “What, you mean, I have to not act, let the crummy system/space continue? And sit still and think?” Well, mostly yes (you don’t have to sit still ;-)) – if we avoid considering how this or that did or didn’t work, all the various pieces of it; we’re going to keep jumping randomly from one idea and system to another. Meanwhile, life isn’t going to be simplified and finding things that work for you are likely to elude you – defeating the purpose of trying to make things easier.

Although it might feel counter-productive to evaluate your systems – “a waste of time” – taking the time to do this will save you time, energy, and effort in the long run. And when it appears that a system has broken down – take the time to re-evaluate things. You might discover that something else – not the system – has changed. There are plenty of times that things can become fully functional with some tweaks here and there, whether they are new to you or established yet fluctuating systems – and not require an overhaul, i.e. more time, energy, and effort from you, unnecessarily.

The benefits of being organized are innumerable – the reduction of stress and worry (at least in the organizing area) is priceless. It would be hard to argue that it’s not valuable – though there are certainly times that it isn’t high on the priority list. It requires we spend our valuable time and energy on it – all the more reason to not rush into it. And ideally we’re going to approach our organizing efforts with our mind focused and relatively clear. It’s your best asset for discovering the systems that will enable you to simplify and focus on all those other things you’re handling. Therefore, use your mind to choose a system to try, set it up mindfully, and then stick with it for a while – and of course evaluate how it’s working or not for you.