Thanksgiving Thoughts

Here I am about to state the obvious – my blog always comes out the day before Thanksgiving. This causes me to have mixed feelings – I want everyone to be focused on enjoying their day. There are times to be thinking about our habits, our organizing, our time management, and etcetera. Then there are times when it’s time to set that aside for a while – other priorities are more important.

One of the things I talk to people about is setting priorities. When everything holds the same value, everything can lose its value. Think about it in terms of stuff – if you are so surrounded by things you love, how can you love everything when you can’t see or find it? This applies just as much to our interests – if you want to do everything, you need to figure out what exactly you want to focus on first.

Even more importantly, you need to decide what can wait – when it’s time to set something aside – either permanently or just for the time being. This is part of what causes someone to feel overwhelmed – the feeling that there is just so much to be done and not being able to leave something undone.

All of life is a journey – like organizing – there’s not an end point. There’s always more to be done, more to organize, more to improve, and on and on infinitum. It’s part of what makes life so interesting. It’s also exactly this that frustrates our efforts.

My vision of this is walking down a road, coming to the familiar crossroads, and choosing a path. Sometimes this path is about setting something down for a while – I leave that thing, the interest or desire, by the side of the road – because it’s just an image, I know I can pick that interest back up again after I’ve traveled for a while.

Often the holidays are full of routines – we always get together with so and so on Thanksgiving. As with virtually everything I talk about – I encourage you to figure out your own needs and values – for Thanksgiving as with anything else. It can be challenging to align your priorities with your life, yet it’s important to do.

Feeling Stressed and Overwhelmed?

There has been a lot going on with me – both personally and professionally. I see how I am cycling through feeling overwhelmed and feeling balanced. As a professional organizer, I do feel a need to largely be balanced. Yet I am human and therefore not perfect. This also means that I can relate to many of the struggles my clients face. So, what to do?

Most of us end up feeling overwhelmed at some point and even more often than sometimes. I’ve talked about this before in Overwhelmed? and in Coping with Feeling Overwhelmed — all my points can help someone move through things even when feeling overwhelmed. Except there’s something that probably needs to happen first – you need to consider what you need.

What’s contributing to your feelings of being overwhelmed?
When do you tend to feel this way?
What connections can you discover about this?
What would help you in the midst of this feeling?

There’s a time to push through, to take the first smaller steps of dealing with things. Then there’s a time to give yourself a break. Only you can hope to discover which of these is right for you.

If you are anything like me, you might be filled with self-doubt that you are going to be too easy on yourself. How can one really, truly know when it’s time to allow some space instead of plodding ahead?

Are you able to step back and recognize your own tendencies with objectivity? This world is filled with all types – and I tend toward that Type A driven personality. I expect a lot of myself. Meanwhile, there are some people who are comfortable and even yearn for all the time off they can get without any inner drive to do more. Since I recognize that I can be hard on myself, I then can pause to consider if it’s time to give myself some slack. This won’t necessarily eliminate the inner doubts, yet it’s a step in the right direction.

What are those things contributing to your feeling overwhelmed – and how critical are they?
- How many of them could wait?

How much better could you accomplish them if you took some time to rejuvenate yourself?

There are times I wish I could disappear for just a little while – yet for me that feels too much like trying to escape. It usually improbable that we can abdicate all our responsibilities when we’re feeling overwhelmed. This simply means that we need to identify the most important things to focus on – notice I said important – which doesn’t necessarily mean the most critical. And what is most important for you might be completely unique to you.

As with everything I write about – there is no one way of doing anything – and that includes how to take the best care of yourself. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I would encourage you to take that as a sign that it’s time for you to pause and consider what would help you to be revitalized. Feeling stressed and overwhelmed is often a signal that something is out of balance – figuring out what that is can only help you through it.

Cycles of Time

For every time there is a season. I’ve talked before about how I deeply appreciate the seasons, the symbol of how things change – maybe not a lot, yet change surrounds us. This doesn’t necessarily make it easy. It can be challenging to embrace the changes happening. Yet, adapting and then thriving require us to figure out how to make the most of the changes. If you think about yourself over the course of a day, your energy and focus shift throughout that day.

How do you handle your own cycles? There are lots of people who’ve talked about working on your most challenging task during the time of the day when you are most focused. I think of this as finding and working during your prime time.

Sometimes it’s hard to figure out your prime time. There are many factors that impact your focus – the biggest being sleep and making sure you are getting enough good rest. If you are dealing with mental health issues, these too take a tremendous toll on your focus. There are many things that can interfere with your prime time. It’s important to handle these things and be gentle with yourself if you’re struggling to make the most of your time.

It’s great to make the most of your prime time for getting things accomplished; yet typically we can’t stop working after our best time is over. We still have things we need to work on, though hopefully we’ll have made the most of our prime time. This is one the reasons that I think about my tasks in relation to various factors, i.e. time, energy, activity, intellectual, etc.

Do you think about your energy and attention when you’re considering your to-do list? A few years back I began making sure my to-do list had different types of tasks. Too many times I was staring at the list dreading it all and simply procrastinating. By thinking about my energy and attention, I wasn’t making the to-do list that would facilitate making the most of my time. Now I make sure that there are a variety of types of tasks – so when I am feeling more drained, I can work on more sedentary tasks – either needing more or less concentration depending on my level of focus.

In this day and age it seems there’s always more to do, and this means that we can set up our to-do lists with various criteria. Figure out when your prime time is and make the most of that. Then consider what things you can do when you’re more tired – those tasks that require less thought or less activity. If we always have options for getting things accomplished even when we’re not at our best – we move through the to-do list steadily.

Making Progress?

Recently I was talking with a client and she commented that she “should be more positive.” This came after her sharing that she was struggling with feeling depressed and overwhelmed. What people might not know is that I have felt this way more than I would care to admit. So I shared with her that first, we need to eliminate “should’s” from our vocabulary and to allow herself to feel her feelings. But is that all there is?

Frequently the people I work with have a tendency to neglect taking care of themselves. This is an area that is important to make time for – if you are struggling with feeling down and to make progress – look at how much time you are spending on things you enjoy. It’s surprising to see how much we think that I’ll make time for this once I get caught up, once I get that all done.

Our bodies and mind need time to rejuvenate. If we push ourselves to only be “productive,” then we actually become less productive. We struggle to get things done. We end up feeling down and overwhelmed.

This isn’t the end all, be all answer though. Just because we make time to nurture ourselves, it doesn’t magically cheer us up or make the work easy.

We could use successes. Our struggle to make sufficient progress leads to another possible culprit to our feelings – depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, etc. – we try to do too much. We want the whole basement to be organized and expect we can do that in one weekend of dedicated effort. This is an extreme example – what is “too much” varies from person to person. It’s important to figure out what is reasonable for you, and only you.

Therefore, as you work to discover what is realistic for you personally, do small things – those things that you can start and finish with a little effort. By focusing on an area that you can finish in a short amount of time, you can begin to see the effects of your working. As most people I know struggle with paperwork to one degree or another, I would recommend choosing something other than papers to organize – it’s hard to make enough progress in a short amount of time. Do something small and feel rewarded with your efforts by seeing your success.

One of the first things I ask myself if I am struggling in this area is, “what do I see that would take less than 5 minutes to do?” Often it’s those things that are small enough I put off, for whatever reason, – thinking, “they’re so easy, I’ll just do it later.” Yet, by simply doing them, I see the small successes.

Another thing to consider is a contained space to work on – a single shelf or drawer. It can be other things as well, as long as it’s relatively simple. Or consider what else you might be able to break down into a smaller piece to work on and finish. Shelves and drawers are great options since their space is defined and limited – therefore it’s clear when you are done. It also means that you can see the effects of your work. Here’s a link to what I wrote a while back on Diving into a Small Organizing Project. Consider where you have a clear vision of what needs to happen – you know how and where to organize your photographs, your jewelry, your music, your office supplies, and etcetera. This is a potential direction for your efforts.

An additional benefit to working on those small pieces is that it frees up the spaces around us – seeing if we have more space here or not enough space there. We have the potential to see how to break other projects into smaller pieces. It’s rarely a good idea to set aside a whole day to working on one of our projects – it easily leads to burnout – rather than building up the energy to work consistently, which is more effective in the long run.

Sometimes, we just need to walk away from our projects. Not for months – yet to step back and let it be for a while. Whatever it is that you are dealing with, it likely didn’t get that way in the last week, and will take time to work through. When emotions are running strong, it’s generally hard to make progress, so consider what you can manage. Then give yourself permission to do only what you can handle – even it’s nothing at the moment.

Accountability – Nasty or Nice?

This word – accountability – has troubled me sometimes. Too often someone wants to impose his or her version of it on someone else. Even the definitions I’ve found fail to communicate a strongly positive connotation.

From Miriam-Webster: the quality or state of being accountable; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions
From dictionary.com: the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable

Although they’re not necessarily negative either. There’s a weight to being accountable, you are agreeing to be responsible.

In my coaching classes, we talk about accountability a lot. Yet, it’s in the context of helping our clients define what accountability looks like for them. And then, what they want from us around their definition of accountability. They create the entire experience – according to what works for them.

Sometimes I feel a bit cynical, that the world is becoming filled with people who tend to blame others. “If only, he or she didn’t… then I wouldn’t…” Other times I think we’re reluctant to reveal the extent of the responsibility we each feel for things – to be that vulnerable.

Making changes is hard. Plain and simple. There are philosophies abounding about how to make them happen. One of the most successful tactics for realizing changes is to tell people about your intentions. This makes us most likely to follow through – there’s an accountability built in. We’re making ourselves accountable by telling other people about our goals.

This is exactly like in our coaching practice (and many organizing clients) – our clients share their intentions and we follow up and see how they are coming. Of course, we also spend time talking about the details making it specific.

Yet, what happens when someone is critical of our not succeeding in making those changes? It undermines our efforts. We’re less likely to broadcast our goals again.

We need to make sure we find supportive people to share our goals with – people who will encourage us at the same time that they won’t let us off the hook easily. Hence, hold us accountable. You need to define what that looks like for you – how do you want to be held accountable? Ideally, even if you don’t manage to meet your expectations, the result is not criticism, but curiosity, “what happened?”

Accountability can certainly develop negative connotations depending on whom you’re sharing things with. In essence, accountability is a positive concept. We all need it to some degree, just in our distinct, personal way. When I think about accountability in this way, whether for myself or for those I work with, I appreciate the value it has.

Follow-up on the Unikeep View Case Binders

As a rule, I do not write reviews of products until I have used the item for a while. Although I think I can intuit the pros and cons of various products, I want to have the hands on experience to share with you. How long I use something before I review it varies depending the product. Yet, how does the product stand the test of time?

I originally posted my review of the Unikeep View Case Binders in February of 2011 after getting one from the NAPO conference in 2010. This was probably my favorite find from that conference and after using the one I received purchased several more for myself.

These make me happy though I continue to be less than fond of binders as a general rule. The fact that they are enclosed and of a consistent shape make them easy to use: either standing them up or stacking them.

I did end up breaking one of the rings since writing the review. It is the binder that I received more than 3 years ago now and I take with me to show clients. I also tend to abuse it a little to demonstrate how sturdy the rings are despite how they feel. Of the ones that I use, I have had no problems with the rings.

My husband was drawn to these and asked for one. He took it to work and used it for a handful of things on spiders. Recently it came home and he showed me how he was using it and reported how great it was for containing both the papers he needed and the little books that tend to get lost.

Unikeep binder holding both paper and small books

Unikeep binder open with papers and small books

My favorite “binder” from them is one without rings as I can load it with whatever I want to work on that day as I leave and it remains contained. I use this one the most, though have an actual binder I use for my volunteering which I use their tabbed pockets within it.

Another client purchased a set of them to hold some materials that come hole-punched and comments on how easily they line a shelf on her bookcase. They allow her to organize, contain, and access the papers she needs in a user-friendly way.

If you can’t tell, I am still a huge fan of these Unikeep View Case Binders. 🙂

Learning

Many years ago now, I was talking with my husband about work and management roles. He was talking about the importance of employees continuing their education, how people need to be reading magazines and books related to their career- always furthering their training and education. At the time, it made sense on one level to me, I could understand that if you are in a job you need to be continuing to educate yourself about what is going on in the industry and increasing your knowledge base. Due to where I was at the time, I also cringed. Uh-oh!

To me this is a great sign whether we are in a career that speaks to who we truly are. Are we following our life passion? I shifted my direction and can honestly say now that I don’t think I will ever be satisfied with my knowledge on organizing, time management, productivity, efficiency, etc. I am constantly searching and questioning. I do this for myself as well as for what it can provide for my clients. It excites and interests me – it’s not “work.”

There are some people who are so curious they study many different things, and I do have this temptation sometimes. Yet, we all have limited time and energy – there’s only so much we can learn. Learning might not even be the highest priority – we’re already juggling many different life responsibilities. This is one of the reasons we don’t even try to learn how to do everything for ourselves; we have a network of people to turn to.

Although I could be fascinated with learning woodworking – the real deal – how to make gorgeous furniture out of wood, I am not that committed to it. It’s too involved for me, and I’d rather be doing other things with my time. I’m pretty sure we all have interests that we decide not to pursue – at least for the moment. Does this make you feel badly? Are you ashamed that there’s a limit to what you’ll try to learn? Will you avoid turning to someone who does know about a particular subject?

There comes a time when it’s worthwhile to ask for help. I’ve taken yoga classes a few times; I have yoga videos and equipment. This doesn’t stop me from deciding that in the next couple of months I will sign up for a yoga class. There’s several reasons why – I want the accountability and motivation of a class and I want someone to be able correct my poses, to name a couple of reasons. I will probably struggle with some sense of embarrassment – I’m sure my yoga practice is back at a beginner level. Nevertheless, it’s well worth it to me. Nor does it mean that I won’t be learning independently of the class.

Do you know when it’s time to ask for help? Whether it’s something you think you “should” be able to solve on your own or it’s something that you find embarrassing to admit to – there’s a time to turn to someone who is educated and passionate about the topic. Too often I hear of people resisting turning to someone to help them – from the wanting to exercise regularly yet won’t ask friends or hire a trainer, even for a short time to get them started. You don’t have to do it alone. You certainly cannot be an expert in everything.

We all need to recognize what it is that we have time and energy to learn on our own and when it’s time to turn to an expert. This can be more challenging depending on what it is that needs expert attention. Many of us don’t hesitate to take our cars to a mechanic and visit the doctor when we need. Sometimes when it’s more personal, intimate we might resist. I encourage you to open up to places where asking for help could make all the difference – you don’t need to learn everything alone.

Maintenance – Everything Needs It

As I was edging the lawn this week, I found myself thinking about how fast and easily the dirt and grass overtake the sidewalk. And I used to procrastinate doing it. Yet almost everything in our lives requires some maintenance – at least if we expect it to last. If you think about it, there’s plenty of things you are happy to maintain – your relationships, your job, what else? What are the things that you take care of in life?

When we start to think about it, there are many things that need our attention and care. Our cars need to have oil changes and the tires need air. Our clothes need to be laundered and dealt with – hung up or folded. Our dishes need to get washed. Our homes need to be cleaned periodically. Some of these can feel like work, yet we manage to get them done – at least most of the time.

Maintenance is work – even when we realize the value of it. Even if these are things that are inconsistently done, you recognize the value of it. Life is full of things aren’t easy.

What I have come to realize is that virtually everything in our lives requires maintenance. Each piece of décor needs to be dusted eventually. The knives in my kitchen need to be sharpened. The clocks on the walls need batteries as well as to be changed twice a year. The lawnmower that helps me with the grass needs to be cleaned and sharpened. The heater needs a new filter regularly. The list goes on and on.

It’s a decent argument for limiting the amount of stuff that we bring into our lives. How much time and energy do we want to spend maintaining that? Is that item worth the maintenance needed?

Yet, we also cannot eliminate all things from our lives. We need things – I appreciate my dishes and the food that I put on them. I wouldn’t want to go around naked. I like sleeping on my mattress and box spring – even if I need to rotate the mattress regularly.

We need things and therefore need to maintain those things. Therefore, consider these questions in reference to maintaining things:

What comes more easily for you?
- What makes that easier for you?
What takes work to maintain; yet you still do it consistently?
- What makes that worthwhile for you to work on it?
What are you willing to do?
- And then what are you potentially willing to give up to maintain this or that?

There are no easy answers to maintaining things – or rather to developing new patterns of maintaining things. I encourage you to recognize the things that you already maintain. Then you can use that knowledge you can gain from these successes and apply them to new areas needing maintenance.

Donating Process

Last week I talked about how organizing is really a process and therefore is never finished. There’s always more to be done. If we don’t continue the process of keeping things organized, our homes easily become overrun with clutter – in the purest sense of the word. We need to discover the process that will work for each of us and for each thing that needs a process – creating the routines for organization.

For many people the process of getting rid of still good things can be the most challenging – especially once you’ve reached that relatively organized state. Also, making it part of the flow of life means continual work.

“How do I know it’s time to get rid of this?”

Sometimes I struggle to get rid of things – they’re not broken, or torn, or worn out, or stained – they are still quite usable. Yet, do I use them? I’ve gotten to the point that if I am not actually using them and cannot imagine using them (sometimes from trying to force myself to make it usable) they go into my donate pile. The thing is that if you are not using it, is there a good reason to keep it? I find that I am using things I love and appreciate, so if something isn’t getting used, it’s more likely that I don’t love it.

“I won’t have time to drop this off at a nonprofit for a while.”

If you’ve ever heard me present, I talk about how we’re not finished until we get the things out of our home, out of our garage, out of our car. This is true – if it’s still in your possession you are not free from the things. Although this is not a good reason to stop yourself from moving things further along in the process of getting it out of your space. More important than being able to quickly get it out of your space is to ask how much you’re accumulating that’s waiting to leave? If you have a lot (and you get the define that for yourself), then you need to make time – schedule it – to get the things out of your space.

“I don’t have time to go through [insert space in your home] to purge things.”

First, theoretically your spaces aren’t in need of a major overhaul – we’re talking about maintaining organizing as part of the normal life. If we integrate the process of organizing into normal living, we find a way to naturally purge things that are ready to go to their next home. If you are standing in front of your closet and recognize a shirt that no longer fits, is stained, you now dislike, whatever the case may be – pull it out right then. The same thing applies in any space – when you see something and recognize that it’s no longer useful to you, it’s time to remove it from that space.

“I can’t believe how much has accumulated so quickly.”

First, congratulations on noticing – that’s great and means that you can take steps to deal with it. After noticing, the next step is to deal with it and create systems to help limit the accumulation in the future. This is when systems are important – a way to create a flow for things to leave rather than collect. From my experience, things collect – period. If we don’t stay on top of it, the next time we look, it’s grown: kipple is the name I always think of (and wrote about).

The way that I deal with the process of getting rid of things is to have a box in one room – near a door, yet out of the way. Each time I come across something that is no longer used or loved it makes it’s way to the box. Once the box begins to fill up, I spend time listing the items in the box for tax purposes and close the top of the box. Often I do this after I get a call from a charity that is scheduling pick-ups in my area – and I do this regardless of how full or empty the box. If we’ve been busier with the purging, it really is once the box is full and then I evaluate whether I want to wait for the next phone call for a pick-up or if I want to drop it off myself.

It’s a great way to help kids learn the process – put a box in a corner or in the closet and involve your kids in deciding what they’ve outgrown – both clothes and toys. I find a box placed strategically the easiest in helping the process of moving things out – whether that is one box or a box per room or per floor. Remember, whatever works for you and helping you keep things moving through.

Organizing – a process not an end point

Sometimes people I know personally are self-conscious about letting me see their spaces – afraid I might critique their systems. Other times, I get requests for ways to tweak and improve on things. Fortunately I love what I do and am happy to talk about ideas and even get hands on.

Recently I was with some family and she was probably a little of both of the above – a little concerned I might critique things and probably more excited at my ideas and help.

Now, let me preface everything else with admitting she does not really need much organizing help. Her spaces are relatively uncluttered and organized. Yet, this is part of my point – just because you have good systems in place doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth analyzing and tweaking. This is the exact thing that is often missing and a struggle for people – it takes work to sit down and look through things are already mostly organized. And this is how clutter can get out of control!

One of the spaces we did some physical hands on work with was on the garage. I took some before pictures – what do you think about how it looks?

Before or after?

The challenge of organization is that it’s never really finished. It’s about creating a system in order to simplify the process as life continues. If we keep adding clothes to our closets and dressers without pulling anything out – we become overwhelmed with all the clothes we’ll need to go through to get organized again. And of course, we need to pull out enough clothes to make up for what we’re adding. This is one of the reasons the idea of “one in, one out” is so popular – it makes the process automatic and simple.

As I’ve said, I dislike absolute rules. They don’t work for everyone. I strongly resist the idea that I would have to get rid of a book or CD every time I brought a new one in, although I’d be OK with getting rid of something else entirely. I think we need to follow guidelines that work for us and that respects what we value.

This means that we need to stay attentive to what is gathering around us. First, we have to notice what our surroundings look like, including the insides of closets and drawers, as well as our basements, attics, and garages. Second, we have to make time to deal with things once we’ve noticed them. Third, are there ways to simplify the process of getting rid of things? My husband and I have a donate bin that we throw things into as we come across them and once it’s full I list the items and get it out of the house.

During my visit, she and I spent a little less than 2 hours working in the garage. By the end, we had created 3 small bags of trash and had about 2 small bags for donating. Many things got moved around – grouping like items together. Now, we did not literally go through every box and bin though we did look inside every one. As I already stated, she was already pretty organized so the boxes and bins were what they looked like.

As you saw, it didn’t need an overhaul, but it did appreciate some refining of things. And although I work with people in much more extreme situations, I also have clients closer to this situation – wanting some help in tweaking the relatively organized stuff already in the space.

Remember, organizing is not an end point – it is the continual process we need to incorporate into our lives.