Accountability – Nasty or Nice?

This word – accountability – has troubled me sometimes. Too often someone wants to impose his or her version of it on someone else. Even the definitions I’ve found fail to communicate a strongly positive connotation.

From Miriam-Webster: the quality or state of being accountable; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions
From dictionary.com: the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable

Although they’re not necessarily negative either. There’s a weight to being accountable, you are agreeing to be responsible.

In my coaching classes, we talk about accountability a lot. Yet, it’s in the context of helping our clients define what accountability looks like for them. And then, what they want from us around their definition of accountability. They create the entire experience – according to what works for them.

Sometimes I feel a bit cynical, that the world is becoming filled with people who tend to blame others. “If only, he or she didn’t… then I wouldn’t…” Other times I think we’re reluctant to reveal the extent of the responsibility we each feel for things – to be that vulnerable.

Making changes is hard. Plain and simple. There are philosophies abounding about how to make them happen. One of the most successful tactics for realizing changes is to tell people about your intentions. This makes us most likely to follow through – there’s an accountability built in. We’re making ourselves accountable by telling other people about our goals.

This is exactly like in our coaching practice (and many organizing clients) – our clients share their intentions and we follow up and see how they are coming. Of course, we also spend time talking about the details making it specific.

Yet, what happens when someone is critical of our not succeeding in making those changes? It undermines our efforts. We’re less likely to broadcast our goals again.

We need to make sure we find supportive people to share our goals with – people who will encourage us at the same time that they won’t let us off the hook easily. Hence, hold us accountable. You need to define what that looks like for you – how do you want to be held accountable? Ideally, even if you don’t manage to meet your expectations, the result is not criticism, but curiosity, “what happened?”

Accountability can certainly develop negative connotations depending on whom you’re sharing things with. In essence, accountability is a positive concept. We all need it to some degree, just in our distinct, personal way. When I think about accountability in this way, whether for myself or for those I work with, I appreciate the value it has.

Maintenance – Everything Needs It

As I was edging the lawn this week, I found myself thinking about how fast and easily the dirt and grass overtake the sidewalk. And I used to procrastinate doing it. Yet almost everything in our lives requires some maintenance – at least if we expect it to last. If you think about it, there’s plenty of things you are happy to maintain – your relationships, your job, what else? What are the things that you take care of in life?

When we start to think about it, there are many things that need our attention and care. Our cars need to have oil changes and the tires need air. Our clothes need to be laundered and dealt with – hung up or folded. Our dishes need to get washed. Our homes need to be cleaned periodically. Some of these can feel like work, yet we manage to get them done – at least most of the time.

Maintenance is work – even when we realize the value of it. Even if these are things that are inconsistently done, you recognize the value of it. Life is full of things aren’t easy.

What I have come to realize is that virtually everything in our lives requires maintenance. Each piece of décor needs to be dusted eventually. The knives in my kitchen need to be sharpened. The clocks on the walls need batteries as well as to be changed twice a year. The lawnmower that helps me with the grass needs to be cleaned and sharpened. The heater needs a new filter regularly. The list goes on and on.

It’s a decent argument for limiting the amount of stuff that we bring into our lives. How much time and energy do we want to spend maintaining that? Is that item worth the maintenance needed?

Yet, we also cannot eliminate all things from our lives. We need things – I appreciate my dishes and the food that I put on them. I wouldn’t want to go around naked. I like sleeping on my mattress and box spring – even if I need to rotate the mattress regularly.

We need things and therefore need to maintain those things. Therefore, consider these questions in reference to maintaining things:

What comes more easily for you?
- What makes that easier for you?
What takes work to maintain; yet you still do it consistently?
- What makes that worthwhile for you to work on it?
What are you willing to do?
- And then what are you potentially willing to give up to maintain this or that?

There are no easy answers to maintaining things – or rather to developing new patterns of maintaining things. I encourage you to recognize the things that you already maintain. Then you can use that knowledge you can gain from these successes and apply them to new areas needing maintenance.

Donating Process

Last week I talked about how organizing is really a process and therefore is never finished. There’s always more to be done. If we don’t continue the process of keeping things organized, our homes easily become overrun with clutter – in the purest sense of the word. We need to discover the process that will work for each of us and for each thing that needs a process – creating the routines for organization.

For many people the process of getting rid of still good things can be the most challenging – especially once you’ve reached that relatively organized state. Also, making it part of the flow of life means continual work.

“How do I know it’s time to get rid of this?”

Sometimes I struggle to get rid of things – they’re not broken, or torn, or worn out, or stained – they are still quite usable. Yet, do I use them? I’ve gotten to the point that if I am not actually using them and cannot imagine using them (sometimes from trying to force myself to make it usable) they go into my donate pile. The thing is that if you are not using it, is there a good reason to keep it? I find that I am using things I love and appreciate, so if something isn’t getting used, it’s more likely that I don’t love it.

“I won’t have time to drop this off at a nonprofit for a while.”

If you’ve ever heard me present, I talk about how we’re not finished until we get the things out of our home, out of our garage, out of our car. This is true – if it’s still in your possession you are not free from the things. Although this is not a good reason to stop yourself from moving things further along in the process of getting it out of your space. More important than being able to quickly get it out of your space is to ask how much you’re accumulating that’s waiting to leave? If you have a lot (and you get the define that for yourself), then you need to make time – schedule it – to get the things out of your space.

“I don’t have time to go through [insert space in your home] to purge things.”

First, theoretically your spaces aren’t in need of a major overhaul – we’re talking about maintaining organizing as part of the normal life. If we integrate the process of organizing into normal living, we find a way to naturally purge things that are ready to go to their next home. If you are standing in front of your closet and recognize a shirt that no longer fits, is stained, you now dislike, whatever the case may be – pull it out right then. The same thing applies in any space – when you see something and recognize that it’s no longer useful to you, it’s time to remove it from that space.

“I can’t believe how much has accumulated so quickly.”

First, congratulations on noticing – that’s great and means that you can take steps to deal with it. After noticing, the next step is to deal with it and create systems to help limit the accumulation in the future. This is when systems are important – a way to create a flow for things to leave rather than collect. From my experience, things collect – period. If we don’t stay on top of it, the next time we look, it’s grown: kipple is the name I always think of (and wrote about).

The way that I deal with the process of getting rid of things is to have a box in one room – near a door, yet out of the way. Each time I come across something that is no longer used or loved it makes it’s way to the box. Once the box begins to fill up, I spend time listing the items in the box for tax purposes and close the top of the box. Often I do this after I get a call from a charity that is scheduling pick-ups in my area – and I do this regardless of how full or empty the box. If we’ve been busier with the purging, it really is once the box is full and then I evaluate whether I want to wait for the next phone call for a pick-up or if I want to drop it off myself.

It’s a great way to help kids learn the process – put a box in a corner or in the closet and involve your kids in deciding what they’ve outgrown – both clothes and toys. I find a box placed strategically the easiest in helping the process of moving things out – whether that is one box or a box per room or per floor. Remember, whatever works for you and helping you keep things moving through.

Consider Changing Your Routine

I’ve probably said this before; I like routines. It’s soothing for me to have a plan. This doesn’t mean I won’t (or can’t) change my plans; nevertheless I enjoy making rough plans. For years, Thursday and Friday were my prime laundry days. I certainly had to change that for vacations and when the days filled up with other things, yet I would simply choose another more fitting day for that week. When I started taking a class, it made sense to completely change my laundry plan. I decided Tuesday and Wednesday would work better.

The strangest thing happened – at the end of the week I felt tremendously lighter. It was like a load had been lifted (no laundry pun intended!). I was no stricter with myself about being flexible. I was simply less stressed. And I don’t have an explanation. Yet not understanding the logic of this doesn’t make it less true. I feel tremendously better and months later, it holds true.

This is something I would not predict – for myself or anyone else. We all have things we have to accomplish each week and each month. This is true whether we plan for those things or not. I certainly believe that we each have our own way of approaching things – from planning to how we handle our chores.

It can be amazing the effect of making some small alterations to our behaviors. They cannot always be predicted or even predictable. This is one of the reasons I am a fan of trying things out, looking at things like an experiment and seeing what the effects are. Years ago I did this with mowing the lawn. I varied all sorts of factors from the basics of whether I mowed the front or back yard first, to directions and height. This also revealed something rather strange to me – doing the backyard first left me more tired at the end. I see no logic to this, yet it held true over and over. If I had not experimented, I would not know this.

Have you ever noticed a difference in your energy level when you are caught up – when you don’t have tons of things left on your list to do? This is what I think about with the “eat the frog” idea – you do the most important and hardest things first each day. When I apply this, I feel more on top of things – I don’t have them hanging over me, knowing I still need to get to them.

These are some of the ways I notice changes happening around me. And those changes can have profound effects on me. As I’ve talked about before, embrace change – the freedom to play with it in your life can open up doors you didn’t even recognize before. This doesn’t mean you need to regiment your life into routines (who wants that degree of control?), yet experiment and find your own way to be lighter and happier.

So Little Space

I remember with some embarrassment how excited I was about our house before we moved in. Walking through the spaces, imagining how spacious most of it seemed. The full bath was admittedly tiny, yet just across the hall was a big linen closet. Many of the spaces seemed full of potential. Using the spaces wasn’t quite as simple. Whether you realize the space limitations before or after you move in, you still want to make the most of what you have available.

When you space is physically small, the first thing to consider is going vertical with your storage options. Although many of our rooms are small, the taller pieces make the most of the available height – from our over 6 foot tall bookshelves to the tall and narrow “lingerie” dressers. In the bathroom, we had a new medicine cabinet and matching cabinet installed over the toilet – creating some good depth and enclosed storage options. Using the vertical space can mean furniture although it can also be simply installing some things onto the wall higher up. Is there room for a stand-alone pantry? Remember if you go vertical, keep in mind how easy or hard it is to access those things on top, and opt to store lesser-used items in the hard to reach places.

Small bathroom- medicine cabinet and cabinet over the toilet (no room for an over-the-toilet rack and pedestal sink so no storage room underneath)

When dealing with a physically small space, one of the main tasks is to figure out what is critical to have in the space. What can live elsewhere? In our tiny bathroom, it felt luxurious when we got the cabinet over the toilet installed; we suddenly had this additional storage space. Only the frequently used items live in the bathroom, and the rest are divided between the linen closet and the half-bath upstairs. The bedroom linens don’t live in the linen closet at all – it made more sense to store those upstairs closer to the bedroom in a chest we have. What absolutely needs to be kept in the limited space available to you? Where can you store the back-up items or lesser-used items?

That linen closet I was so excited about is too deep and the fixed shelves too far apart for our ideal use. To deal with this, I started with those items that could be stacked in front of each other – the towels have two stacks, so once we get through the front stack, it’s easy to access the second stack. This is surprisingly not uncommon – I have seen this too frequently, it makes me wonder what people think when designing closets.

There are several options for making the most of closets and pantries – consider a Lazy Susan, maybe even a double tiered one – these can be especially useful in closets or pantries that go around corners, which can be challenging to use effectively. Any tools that are double-tiered can be useful, as long as you don’t need to get behind it for things. Depending on the items and placement, an under-the-shelf basket can help utilize the space well. Often what helps is to put the front items into baskets, bins, or containers of some kind. If you use this, you can pull out the container in one movement and easily get at the things behind them.

I’m a big fan of thinking non-traditionally. Where can you store things that aren’t a “normal” place? I’ve shared before how I purged some shoes to make room for the partial bookshelf in the bottom of my tiny closet – this isn’t where you’d typically think of putting books. I’m currently using part of a bookcase to store office supplies – they are behind closed doors so it’s not obvious and they’re in a different room from the printer and mail supplies. You’ve probably heard or seen people storing various items in their hutch – from photo albums or kids art supplies, not your traditional table linens, china, or silver. We sometimes think of under-the-bed storage as an option – and with the canvas bags this becomes more of an option when your bed isn’t high enough for the traditional bins. You can apply this same idea to under your dressers and other furniture – and keep it relatively hidden.

One of the popular ways to store things is to use the basement or attached garage. I’ve seen people install virtually floor to ceiling shoe racks – using both non-traditional storage options and thinking vertically. The basement and attached garage can also be useful for those back-up items – you move things from there into your home when needed and stock back up to the garage or basement.

There are such a plethora of options for how to make the most of your limited space. Of course, you need to make sure you have exactly what you need and use – there’s frequently an opportunity to purge, even if it’s just a handful of things. We almost have too many options for storing things – it can be tricky just sorting through them. Also, you want to think about how you use things, make things work for you – despite much acclaim for storing cleaning supplies where you use them, this is often problematic when you have limited space. Can you embrace the challenge to make the most of the space you have?

If not, call me! I now offer virtual organizing. 😉

Keeping Your Car Organized

From the time I started driving for quite a while longer my car collected various things. Eventually I would spend some time just getting it emptied out once it got bad enough. Then there came a time that the car would still get a little cluttered, yet it never required hours of work to get it cleaned up. It’s easy for our cars to collect things – we’re in and out of them regularly.

As with so much with getting and staying organized, how we handle our cars depends on how you want to do it. If you are one of the people whose cars collects things and then you eventually set aside some time to deal with – and don’t want to change that – no problem. You choose how you want to handle your space and things.

Then, there some steps you can take to handle it differently. You don’t even need to begin the following steps with a clean car; you can begin these from however your car is right now. We are in and out of our cars often, and there’s things we can do with our efforts to keep our cars organized.

Most of us completely empty the cars of our groceries after shopping. If we use this philosophy with everything else, we can maintain our car. Each time you get out of your car, you take a load to where it needs to go. You can take just one load even, and if you do that regularly, your car will rarely collect much clutter. If you have trash – you grab as much as you can and drop it in the nearest receptacle each time you get out of your car. If you are heading into a store, there are usually trashcans by the front door – use those.

Sometimes getting gas can feel like a chore. This is another great time to spend a little time emptying stuff from the car. There’s usually a trashcan right by the gas pump, and you’d be amazed by how much you can get done just while your car is getting filled up. If you tend to procrastinate getting gas, try to curb that and work at getting gas on your way home since you’re likely to feel less rushed. It might also lessen any resistance you feel toward using that time to clear out the trash. You can also gather the other things that need to go into the house while the gas tank is getting filled – make it easier to grab the things when you head inside.

I’ve used different techniques over the years for trying to keep the car organized. For a while I kept plastic bags in the car for collecting trash and recycling and when those got full would take them out. I discovered that I would procrastinate emptying them though until they were overflowing. I now keep a reusable bag in case I need it, though I’ve not used it yet.

The habit of each time I left the car I would take at least one load to its place has been the easiest for me. My procrastination habits interfere the least with this. It also never feels like a chore… well, almost never. 🙂 In my case, it’s also now minor stuff and not something I have to do each time – just when I have something for the trash or recycling.

For the various things that I want to keep in the car, and it’s gotten less over the years – I tend to look for ways to contain them. Before containers, the stuff would slide all around and look messier than it was. When you’re driving kids around, it can be even more of a challenge. I encourage you to enlist the children to help, they can return things to where they belong and even help carry things into the house.

As with probably everything about organizing – it requires some discipline and developing habits. How do you want things to be? It doesn’t have to require lots of time or energy, though it might in the beginning. Once you’ve established your routines, it can become easy. Decide for yourself how you want your car to look and take steps to get it there and then keep it there.

Define Your Time

Time is this fleeting thing. We all have the same amount as everyone else and nothing we do can make it multiply. There are a multitude of ways to approach handling your time – from those that encourage people to put all tasks into your calendar or to base your tasks on your current availability of context, time, energy, and priority. I’m certainly one that prefers the latter approach since if I fill my calendar with tasks, I will simply avoid doing anything in that slot.

You could even say that I’ve taken that idea of choosing tasks based on context, time, energy, and priority and put my own personal spin on it. I’ve even given it a fun name: “Whim time.” This term might even sound like an oxymoron, how can those two words fit together? Whim is defined as – “a capricious or eccentric and often sudden idea or turn of the mind: fancy.”

For me, “whim time” is when I listen to myself about what I feel like doing – this can be productive or it can be time for rejuvenating. It’s about paying attention to my mood and using that to help determine what I will work on. For instance, there is something about making phone calls – to search out speakers for the support group, or following up on insurance issues, or whatever else – that may mean playing phone tag, which I typically avoid. Yet, there are times that I am happy to tackle that process – and it makes sense to take advantage of that when it strikes. (This also doesn’t mean that I only wait for the mood to work on those tasks.)

There’s something light and easy-going about doing things according to my mood or more correctly called my state of mind. I am not being a taskmaster upon myself yet I can get plenty of things accomplished. When I can use my whim time as I’ve set it up – to make decisions about what I will do with my time and to do those things – I have a great feeling at the end of the day. It feels productive in the best way – being mindful of where I am at – both mentally and physically.

Sometimes, my “whim time” turns into escapism. This is not what I set out for my time. It’s a behavior that the equivalent to burying my head in the sand and ignoring both what’s good for me and what needs to be worked on. When this happens I feel horrible. In this age with all the possible ways we can distract ourselves and escape; it’s easy to slip into this. I wonder if it’s not even more of a temptation with our never-ending to-do lists. Is there ever a time when you are free from more tasks that need your attention?

I’ve talked about being mindful of how you use your time (in the blog, Use Your Time Intentionally) and I’ve talked about finding ways to make your tasks fun (in the blog, Make It Fun). In many ways, my “whim time” is my combination of these two principles (and somehow David Allen’s Getting Things Done). I didn’t set out to create this, but this is what it evolved into over time.

Maybe “Whim Time” is something you can use for yourself. Maybe it’s not. You are welcome to it, if you want yet I would encourage you to find your own way to define your time that makes sense to you and for your life. Experiment with different ways to handle your time, observe what works and what doesn’t (and this isn’t always obvious from one or two tries) and see what develops for yourself. It really doesn’t matter what you come up with, as long as it works for you.

I’d love to hear what works for you and how you got there. 🙂

Cultivate Curiosity

In this line of work, I run into too many people who are busy “should-ing” on themselves – “I should have done more”, “I ought to have time for that”, “I never get enough done” and on and on. And my heart breaks a little. I get it, it does hit close to home for me too, yet this doesn’t help anyone get more accomplished. Most often this can even derail our efforts to improve. We’re too preoccupied feeling badly, angry, frustrated, whatever and this doesn’t move us any closer to our goals. To some extent we become stuck.

“How do I get unstuck then?”

If we can cultivate curiosity about ourselves we can solve many of our struggles. One of the key pieces of this though is that we need to rid ourselves of the judgment that comes along with looking at what we do and why. Has there ever been a time when criticizing yourself has helped you get past a struggle or to solve a problem?

Instead, try to step back and examine what is causing your difficulties. Sometimes this benefits from a compare and contrast – so if it’s a particular chore – what is different about this chore compared to another chore you accomplish with minimal challenge? The answers you come up with could be a long list, as you want to consider as many different factors as possible: time of day, effort, energy, time consuming, complicated/simple, boring/interesting, dreaded/exciting, rewarding, etc.

Even if you cannot compare it to something else, you can examine what that thing brings up for you. What is it about that thing that has you resisting it? When you start to get the clues for where your struggles are, you can then start making changes to how you approach that thing.

In trying to make this applicable to many situations, this is vague. Therefore, let me give you an example. I was often procrastinating mowing the lawn. One of the major factors was the dread of lugging out of and back into the basement. Another factor was feeling like it was extremely time consuming. The first factor has now been dealt with as we have a garage, but until that happened, there wasn’t much I could do about it. The second factor – time – I could discover how much time it actually took up, so I timed it. From lugging it up, mowing the front and back yard, and lugging it back down, it took me 45 minutes. From that point onward I could easily dismiss mowing as an option if I didn’t have that much time and could plan when I would have enough time. I also began to stop procrastinating it as much, yes, I did qualify that, I will sometimes still procrastinate doing it, though it gets less and less as time goes on.

There are other chores I dislike because they seem dull, and I can take my iPad and play a show on it while I work or vacuum during commercials. Obviously I don’t need to watch it intently, it’s a way to make the chores a little more interesting. The point is that I’ve approached my quirks (my resistances) with curiosity, identified what factors contribute to my resistance to accomplishing them, and then found ways to lessen the resistance. Even when I falter and don’t get it done when or how I would like, I work at giving myself a break.

Is there another way to look at the chore (or whatever you are struggling with)? Much of our lives deal with perspectives – the way we decide to look at things. Yes, it is a choice and this means we can change the way we view things. Therefore we can decide to look at that dreaded chore differently. This rarely happens overnight, but if we discover the reasons that matter to us as an individual, we can begin to make the changes.

For me, making the bed was one of these. I didn’t care much if it was made or not and I struggled with wanting it to be near perfect if it were made. This meant I spent time and energy walking back and forth around the bed fixing it. Then I timed myself lying in bed doing a sort ‘snow angel’, slipping out from under the covers, and doing some minor straightening – under 2 minutes. Then I started appreciating the made bed when it was time to go to bed at night. I stopped looking at making the bed as a chore; rather it became something to look forward to – a nicely made bed –at the end of the day.

What is it about this situation that causes you difficulties? Thinking about the answers for yourself can help lead you to the answers you need to make the necessary changes. Don’t get me wrong, you might not find THE answer on the first try. Nevertheless it will lead you toward the solutions you need.

Get curious.

Hate Doing Laundry? – An Alternative Solution

“I hate doing laundry,” someone told me the other day (we’ll call her Jane and respect her anonymity) “it’s the worst household chore of all.”

So I responded, “What is it about the laundry that you hate?”

One of the things Jane won’t do is mixing colors in the loads – each color needs to be washed and dried independently of the other colors. Jane has 3 closets of clothes, moving through them as the week’s progress, knowing when they get to a certain emptiness, laundry will need to be dealt with.

It turns out that Jane separates all her clothes by color immediately. She has 7 laundry baskets to collect the different colors and she avoids needing to sort the clothes when laundry time approaches. As soon as it’s time to handle the laundry, she can immediately begin the laundry process, loading a basket directly into the washer.

Jane went and bought the largest capacity washer and dryer available – despite the salesman questioning her that she didn’t need something so large for just herself. She knew what she wanted – a way to reduce the amount of laundry she would need to do. Jane definitely does not want to do laundry weekly – the least often is best for her.

Once a month she sets aside time, usually Friday evening through Saturday night to get her laundry washed, dried, and put away. She’s then free for another month from having to do any laundry.

The reality is that she doesn’t hate her laundry anymore – she found a way to handle it in such a way that actually gives her pleasure. Jane went on to say that she actually loves her laundry now!

How this applies for you:

Identify what it is you dislike or even hate doing – whether it’s laundry or dusting or whatever
Brainstorm an idea for how to do it differently enough that it becomes less burdensome – so often we cannot eliminate tasks, yet we can still find an alternative approach
Make it relatively easy for yourself – Jane has the different laundry baskets, the large capacity appliances, and does the laundry consistently in order that she keeps it easy enough to work for her – and if it’s too hard, we won’t do it anyway

As with so much when it comes to organizing, finding a way that works for you is most important. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense to anyone else as long as it does make sense for you and your life. In this example, weekly (or for some daily) laundry duty is the solution for many families, but for some it’s the wrong approach. Discover the approach that works for you and your family – and consider all options.

What Type Are You?

There’s something I really struggle with when writing this weekly blog. Do you have any guesses? It’s not coming up with ideas to write about. It’s not about making time to write and edit it (though I could be better here). It’s not worrying about whether it provides value to you, the reader, though I do want it to be helpful. What it is for me – how to explain one way of doing something while I know that there are variants upon variants of how to approach the exact same struggle.

In the most recent coaching class we worked with processing modalities. I learned about these in Gardner’s Frames of Mind, where he talked about the school system teaching in limited modalities and this neglected the children who learned in non-traditional ways, yet they were equally intelligent. I was fascinated. Similarly, Meyer-Briggs (in Please Understand Me) can help classify how you interact and relate through 16t types, leaving you with 4 letters to describe yourself (the first one being whether you are an introvert or an extrovert).

Although these have interested me, they can be used to limit yourself – at least if you are willing to be boxed in by the results. Really, they are designed to help you see the spectrum that makes you the unique individual that you are.

So, Jennifer, what exactly is your point here?

We need to embrace who we are and find those unique systems that work for you, the individual. It can be challenging for me, in this blog, to provide a specific solution for everyone since we’re all different. This is why when I come to your home, I do not advocate one way of doing something. I love to recommend tools and tricks in order for you to learn what might work for you.

Let me give you an example: I had one client who worked from her bed. There was no health problem to induce this approach – it was simply her preference. Other people would be quite uncomfortable working in their bed. Does it make it wrong for her to work in bed? Certainly not. It works for her and we set things up so that the things she worked on would be nearby – easy to retrieve and put away. I would never go into a client’s a recommend they work in their bed because it worked for this one person. So, what works for you?

In order to figure out systems for yourself, you do need to be aware of your tendencies and preferences. It helps to look at both what encourages and discourages you. This is something to accept in yourself, not judge or try to change. Another client really resisted doing anything unless she could hear the television. Happily, she wasn’t embarrassed about it and we developed some systems so her tasks could be accomplished near the TV. What are the reasons for your resistance? Too hard, too complicated, too time consuming, too _________. What are the reasons for your successes? Easy, simple, fast, rewarding, _________.

My cognitive strength supports me in the near constant problem solving I offer my clients, yet encompasses the clients strengths so they get systems that work for them. Although I will talk about this approach or that approach to something – there is such a plethora of choices on how to tackle any struggle. As the modalities point out, we are all unique and this means we use our strengths to make things work for us and most importantly support us in the life we want to lead.